What you missed this week while reading Batman in Vietnamese.

• What do Miguel Tejada and Babe Ruth have in common?
• Ozzie Guillen want to be the greatest asshole that ever lived; and he hopes to make a little money as well.
• Streaker who didn’t want to take off clothes will now take off clothes.
• Austrian rugby team takes losing really well.
• Cynthia Rodriguez tells everyone that her husband, Alex Rodriguez, is a wimp.

Nick Hogan, son of American wrestler and creepiest dad candidate Hulk Hogan, will serve eight months in prison after pleading “No Contest” to charges of felony reckless driving. Nick, who crashed into a palm tree, injuring his friend John Graziano, will also be on probation for five years.

As part of the plea agreement, Nick Bollea’s attorneys had asked that their client not serve more than one year in county jail and five years of probation. Without the plea arrangement, Bollea could have faced up to five years in state prison. Authorities say Bollea was racing a friend last August in his father’s sports car when he hit a curb and slammed into a palm tree. The impact critically hurt his friend, John Graziano, who was not wearing a seat belt and now requires a lifetime of care.

This is probably the greatest ending to a day we’ve ever had. If you live outside of Pittsbugh, then you’re not aware that Myron Cope was the voice of the Pittsburgh Pirates, as well as the inventor of the “Terrible Towel.” He died this year, but his legacy lives on via this spoof of MC Hammer’s “You Can’t Touch This.” Enjoy.

Myron Cope’s Pirates Freestyle [Bugs And Cranks]

David Beckham and Sharpie cholasizing pens are teaming up and shooting new ads. The shoot is providing Beckham the opportunity to declare his unrestrained enthusiasm for giving autographs! He even recognizes he’s a really big hero. Modesty? No. Of course not. That sort of thing will kill you in his industry.

“I have always enjoyed signing autographs for people, especially since I used to love getting my heroes’ signatures when I was younger,” said Beckham. “I love to use Sharpie markers, so it’s a natural choice for me to partner with them.”

Was that last line straight from a script? Well, as long as he keeps hitting the back of the net this season, then modesty can rest in the cavernous cellars that house mediocrity in this world. Why are we so angry today? Cackle. Sharpie commercial that doesn’t make much sense to us after the jump.

• Why this doesn’t happen more often is baffling. We always imagined it would be a great experience to be the king of a teleprompter, submitting inuendo and playing great pranks. Then we discovered blogs. It’s fucking power, man! [College Humor]
• Emmanuel Adebayor wants a raise of $160,000 more a week, or he’s leaving Arsenal for good. Could Arsenal survive without him? [Daily Mail]

If there’s anything that can elevate our status from “slightly delusional drunk” to “focused blogger”, it’s this clip of U.S. gymnast Alicia Sacramone delivering a nice left hook to some guy who probably did a 38 second keg stand moments before this clip was shot. Because there’s nothing more manly than asking a girl who could squat three times her body weight and attains the upper body strength to hold a hand stand with one-finger, which wouldn’t really be a “hand” stand, but you know where we’re going with this. It’s Friday and the news day is really slow. So watch Alicia Sacramone pummel a dude after the jump.

We fantasize about almost anything on a daily basis: teleportation, money-trees growing out of the ground and an instant fat-dissolver cream we can apply under our belly button whenever we need it. Tom Brady has fantasies too. But his are bit more realistic and stinkin’ enviable enough to make us hate him more and more and more.

Gisele Bundchen’s lover fantasises about her dressing up as a superhero. more stories like this

The supermodel’s American football star boyfriend Tom Brady confessed he is keen to see her don Wonder Woman’s famous hot pants.

He said: “I want her to wear the Wonder Woman outfit.”

Gisele revealed she would consider wearing the gold-starred pants and red corset, but worries it may expose too much of her body.

She laughed: “I would like to wear a Wonder Woman costume, but it would probably be too revealing.”

See that picture to the right? It’s Lakers guard Sasha Vujacic. And the lady next to him is not his grandma. It’s some cougar wanting to munch on Sasha’s cheeks during a playoff kick-off party with, what we’d regard, intent to pounce on him later in the evening. We’re nauseous thinking about it. Wait. No. It’s the hang over. Never mind. Busted Coverage uncovered the photos and now they’re circulating the blogosphere like Paris Hilton’s vajayjay at a club. Can we get Kobe Bryant to endorse some words of wisdom to the guy? He plays for the Los Angeles Lakers for crying out loud. That means he can attract women that aren’t adorned by what looks like burnt bacon as skin. Oh, wait. It’s Los Angeles. And all women in LA look like this. Even at 22. Yeah, we’re mean. But is it untrue? One more picture after the jump.

When Oscar De La Hoya isn’t rockin’ his best Richard Nixon impression, he’s out expanding his Golden Boy Promotions empire. More mesh, you ask. No silly. He’s trying to provide a venue for young boxer’s to catapult into the stratosphere of stardom. And by that we mean he wants to own their souls.

We don’t correlate stealth with Chicago Fire’s Cuauhtemoc Blanco. His style of play revolves around taking advantage of less-refined player’s mistakes. He also dives a lot. But, he can still drive 30 yard strikes with precision. And we hated that Aguila salute when he was in America, but it’s really cool in MLS.

More Machochip “Goal Of The Day” here.
Video [YouTube]