It’s about that time of the year to go see old friends (and enemies) at our fantasy football drafts. We’ve been pretty successful (go Team Macho!), so we decided to share our little secret with you that vanishes foes better than an injury to their first pick. And that secret is…

CEVICHE!
What, did you think it was going to be some draft kits?Yes, the “good” salad is the key to making the correct pick in the third round (right answer: Marion Barber III; wrong answer: Jamal Lewis). The keys are the Omega-3 fats in fish that have two acids (DHA and EPA) that act as grease for that big head of yours. And just like the guy in A Beautiful Mind who married that Salvi chick (the one played by Jennifer Connelly), you’ll be drawing equations in your mind of yards and receptions and touchdowns that rival Einstein’s (his team name: E=DopeMCs). Meanwhile, your league-mates will be drooling on their Street and Smith’s draft sheets because they filled up with White Castle or Fatburger.
But beware: in the time it takes the guy six picks ahead to say T.J. Houshmandzadeh, your super-brain would have already gone over all the permutations of draft choices and you would have begun to laugh and rub your hands—Dr. Evil-style. Don’t do that for too long because they’ll boot your ass next year for being too weird and replace you with the league asshole’s cousin. Don’t be that ese.