While ESPN’s Sports Guy has been promising his list of the best sports films since forever, Rotten Tomatoes beat him to it and released a list of the best 53 (like a football roster, get it?). The problem is, they rank movies based on acclaim. Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well.

Because they’re critical darlings, the list is overwhelmed with documentaries. So in are docs like League of Ordinary Gentlemen and Dogtown and Z-Boys, and out go the films we love like Victory (Pele and Rocky join up to beat the Nazis), Side Out (wonderful HBO staple) and No Retreat, No Surrender (Jean-Claude trains with the ghost of Bruce Lee? We have the director’s cut DVD!). Why not make them different categories? Why should Hoop Dreams come in so much higher than Slap Shot just because it’s a true story? The fact that Slap Shot shows titties should be an equalizer.

The biggest shock is that Caddyshack is number 49! It should be right behind top flick Bull Durham. It contains everything we want from a sports movie: humor, gratuitous nudity, quotables up the wazoo (‘Hey, Whitey, where’s your hat?” is the best movie line ever) and of course the climatic dénouement where the underdog overcomes the odds by winning the tournament—with the help of a gopher and dynamite.

Hey Rotten Tomatoes, get it right next time by using sports fans as the critics—or in the immortal words of film number 53 Ricky Bobby, “I’m gonna come at ‘ya like a spider monkey.”

Welcome to Top Sports Movies [Rotten Tomatoes]