Faced with the possibility that this year’s Women’s World Cup will fail to capture audiences like its 1999 iteration did, an article we came across rationalizes ‘til its blue in the face. (We already consider such failure a certainty, and only one game has hit the pitch!) A list of the excuses, translated into Machochip speak—drumroll, plee-uz:

• Its air times are so shitty, they compete with infomercials for spray-on hair.
• The U.S. national team bears a Mia Hamm-sized void the color of Brandi Chastain’s sports bra.
• On the calendar of much more popular sports, it runs into the buzz saw of pro football and college football and baseball playoffs. (Ok, ok: that last one is more like a foot pumice.)
• It’s women’s soccer, for chrissakes.

We may or may not have added the last bullet point. U-S-A, all the way!

Fans face uphill battle [Sports Illustrated]
Image [Google]