Sports rivalries should occur organically: the Red Sox/Yankees, Real Madrid/FC Barcelona, and the US/Mexico (sports, border-hopping, pharmaceuticals, etc) have all paid their due. We enjoy an age-old slug fest as much as anyone, (because we know pavilion fights between rival fans are some of the best). Even when the Dodgers and Giants suck, we still enjoy watching them joust it out because the rivalry reveals the most creative bad-mouthing, ego-blasting, and personal taunts that make opposing fans boil with rage (we can still hear the echo of “BAAAALCOOO” chants in the background).

So what the hell does the Los Angeles Daily News merit as a rivalry? Sombreros and head butts a la’ David Beckham. Hey-sus effin’ christ.

When Chivas players walked out of the tunnel before the game, they were greeted by taunts from the Riot Squad, the several-hundred member strong Galaxy fan club, who mocked the club’s Mexican heritage by donning sombreros.

That’s called a lot of cheap beer and some OC douchebag grabbing his Cancun spring break party favor. We don’t want to get righteous or anything, but let us tell you why the Chivas/Galaxy matchups are far from rivalries:

• The Galaxy have skid to their worst year in club history; while the Chivas USA are one win away from taking over the Western Conference lead with guys that are as well-known as past American Idol failures. Whats missing here? Rivalries usually have something to do with winning teams.

• Stealing a great player from the opposing team guarantees rabid hatred: the Yanks stole the Babe from the Red Sox and Real Madrid stole DiStefano and Luis Figo from Barcelona. Neither the Chivas or the Galaxy have yet to crotch-shot one another by stealing a fan favorite. All Chivas need is a couple hundred million bucks to steal Donovan and Beckham at the same time.

• Then there are the championship upsets. Remember Real Madrid pummeling Barcelona in the 2002 Champions League semifinals? Well we do. Remember the Red Sox coming back from a 3-0 deficit in the 2004 ALCS? Just chalk that up as another reason for why hatred is an understatement between these clubs. The Chivas halting a Galaxy championship (or vice versa) is as likely as developers setting up golf courses on the moon.

So a Chivas/Galaxy rivalry to unfold tonight? That’s like saying the LA Daily News rivals the LA Times.

Tonight’s match-up between the Los Angeles Galaxy and Chivas USA will be aired on ESPN2 at 11EST/8PT.

SuperClasico Between Chivas, Galaxy Becoming A Real Rivalry [Los Angeles Daily News]