It isn’t the brightest of ideas when coaches decide their old decrepit bodies can handle a fist fight with a youngster. Usually coaches take the Dazed and Confused approach to fighting: throw a punch and hope others will come in to break it up. Portuguese head coach Luis Scolari gambled with that philosophy and got away with bitch-slapping a Serb player like a chola scrapping in Echo Park. Before Serbian defender Ivica Dragutinovic could retaliate, Scolari’s bodyguards, assistants, and bonafide palm-explosion instructors were carrying him away to safety. The coach has since apologized, but Scolari’s just doing what any manager should be doing: teach by example. If he can’t run 12 miles per game, at least he can try and beat up the other team.

UEFA To Investigate Scolari Incident [International Herald Tribune]