El Gordo Ronaldo (of the gap-toothed Brazilian kind) has been diagnosed with hypothyroidism. This is devastating news to us devout taunters that feel we have the right to judge his fat ass. As fans, it is our duty to taunt those athletes that seem to lack physical discipline (even though we’re the fat guys that never wanted to run the extra lap during phys-ed). His club, AC Milan, stated:

Ronaldo’s weight problems in recent years were caused by hypothyroidism, but pills and a new training regime have made the Brazil striker much fitter.

We paused to scoff because now it’s like pointing fingers at the dumb kid who you later find out to be mentally challenged. We would have enjoyed to know that Ronaldo was stuffing his face with all kinds of shit, but it sounds like the damn joke is on us. Whatever, we’re still pointing.

Ronaldo’s Weight Problems Due To Illness [ESPN]