Sports are such a diversion consisting of numbers and minutiae-first downs, shots on goal, cheerleader busy sizes-sometimes we forget what an overreaching diversion they are. The ability to share a beer or conversation with someone because they cheer for the same group of athletically gifted people (or argument if they cheer for the opposite group) is an almost alien concept in today’s detached world. When we see documentaries or reports about kids from warring factions being brought together in the Middle East by playing basketball together, we get all warm and tingly inside. It makes all those countless hours checking fantasy teams or reading about the broken body parts of a person we’ve never met almost justifiable. Almost. But it does make us damn happy to have sports in our life. Here are a few more specific reasons why, when we eat some turkey today and give thanks, balls will be on our mind.

• More Beer During The NFL Draft
Our favorite NFL team has the unfortunate distinction of sucking mightily for the past few seasons. However, this also means that come draft time, we never had to wait two hours before our draft pick is made. Next year, the first round of the NFL draft will have 10 minutes between picks, instead of 15. Woo-hoo! The time needed between picks (and to get a beer) will be shortened by a third. We’re thankful now, but won’t really appreciate the benefits of this until 2012.

• Kobe Bryant Demands Trades Every 15 Minutes
The Lakers are more fun to follow when its superstar disses the team and its young, impressionable center, demands a trade, then takes it all back. Rinse and repeat throughout the summer and fall. It’s a lot better than when they were getting perpetually bounced in the first round.

• Mike Gundy Loses It… Endearingly

Yeah, he looks like a complete loon. But if we were a kid coming out of high school looking for a place where the coach totally had my back, Oklahoma State would now be worth looking at.

• Cheating Cheating Pumpkin Eating Bill Belichick
Sure, non-Patriot fans could say they hate the team for their utter lack of sportsmanship, blowing out lowly teams like Buffalo by going for it on fourth down when they’re up by five touchdowns. But it’s just hating on the fact that they’re so good, and everyone else isn’t. But the Belichick cheating scandal allowed us to put a face to that hate. Tom Brady and Randy Moss are just pawns in the coach’s attempt to say “screw you” to everyone who lambasted him for cheating by crushing the competition. When the Pats go perfect this year on the way to winning the Super Bowl and the rest of the NFL fans can only say “fucking Patriots,” what essentially we’re saying is “fucking Bill Belichick.”

• We Need A Bigger Car
When the reports came out about the boobie flashing in the D spiral at Jets games, we could only laugh. Why? Because since we met our friend John DeSio in college, we’ve been using his family’s season tickets to sit in amazing seats to watch the Jets. We’ve witnessed many illegal activities in that spiral during halftime while going for a smoke, from pot use to boobie flashing to all out fist fights. Damn it’s been a good time. So to John, and all the girls who flashed the spiral in the past twelve years, we can only say thanks!