Heads Up: Crazy Moms At Target Will Get You Every Time

We hope this trip to the local San Antonio Target is an attempt by Tony Parker and Eva Longoria to make it seem like everything’s normal after their… um… recent difficulties. But guess what, ParkOria, there aren’t any paparazzi hanging out at San Antonio Targets to document your domestic bliss, just crazed pageant moms sending their kids to do their dirty work. [Jen’s Free Throws]
Romario ended up getting banned for 120 days for his little hair growth/steroids stunt. We always thought Brazilians didn’t like too much hair. [FIFA.com]

The Miami-Dade city council is ready to give the Florida Marlins a new $525 million stadium in downtown Miami. It’s the biggest waste of money in South Florida since Tony Montana bought that tiger for his wedding. [Reuters]
Ricky Hatton says he’s going to fight five more times over the next two years. Say goodbye to your memory gland, Ricky. What memory gland? Exactly… [BBC]
A-Rod’s going to change agents from Scott Boras to… Guy Oseary? Yeah, if you hadn’t heard of him, don’t feel too bad. He’s Madonna and Lenny Kravitz’ agent. This can only end badly. [Variety]