It’s been nine days sine the Mitchell Report broke the biggest gas bubble since last year’s Memorial Day bbq shat-attack. It’s a dirty Friday morning. The Kirk Radomski affidavit was unsealed today with names that we’ve never heard of, and don’t really care about. However, we’d like to spotlight them anyway just to ruin their future McDonald’s employment opportunities.

The names not used by Mitchell were not exceptional. Besides [Sid] Fernandez, whose last major league appearance was a single start for the Houston Astros in April 1997, the only names that appear in the affidavit but not the Mitchell report are Ryan Schurman, whose professional career ended in 2002 and never rose above Double-A, and Rick Holyfield, another journeyman minor leaguer.

It’s obvious they either got the low grade stuff, or were too dumb to administer it to their butts correctly. Since their careers sucked, can we put a final dagger in this Mitchell Report business? If you say “no”, then we hate you.

Unsealed Radomski affidavit reveals names of Sid Fernandez, others [ESPN]
Image [ESPN]