We experience an unsettling sense of anxiety whenever we see Diego Maradona’s name in a headline. “What did this psycho say this time,” we say; and then we immediately check off a notch on the quota hatchet. So when we read that Maradona wanted to offer a tribute to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez in the form a likely “I Heart You” tattoo, we puked laughed.

“I’d like to get some sort of Chavez tattoo, really,” Maradona told reporters on Wednesday ahead of a celebrity indoor soccer match. Maradona has a tattoo of Argentine-born revolutionary Ernesto “Che” Guevara on his right shoulder and another of Cuban leader Fidel Castro on his left leg.

Maradona, considered by many the best soccer player of all time, lived several years in Cuba while recovering from drug addiction. There he made friends with Castro, who is a close ally of Chavez.

Can we suggest aesthetically enhancing the visage? Mike Tyson did it and it only seems relevant. Perhaps a “H-U-G-” on the left butt cheek? Enjoy that image. P.S. We’re still waiting for him to open his yap about his beloved Boca Juniors recent clobbering. Feed us, tipsters! Feed us!

Maradona wants tattoo of Venezuela’s Chavez [Washington Post]