Turns out Eva Longoria won’t be on the market after all. Huffington Post reporter Dana Kennedy exhumed some proof that the French supermodel Alexandra Paressant—the chick Tony Parker was supposedly shagging—is nothing but an obsessive liar with normal clothes and normal looks. Apparently the mademoiselle had conjured up everything because mommy and daddy didn’t love her enough.

Marie-Caroline Arnoldo, 27, told me she’d been best friends with Alexandra in high school. “She was never happy in her own skin,” said Marie-Caroline. “She never thought she was pretty enough. She was troubled. It was like she felt she didn’t really exist.”

Boo-hoo. So she’s not that hot chick we’ve been…um…staring at for the past week on our LCD?

Turns out she’s been lying a lot:

1. None of the photos on MySpace were of Paressant. They were different shots of similar-looking models. A lot of the site, which is now set to private, was made up.

2. Alexandra never had a relationship with Ronaldinho, according to his lawyer, who is also his brother, and there’s no indication she ever met Tony Parker

3. She appears to have created her relationship with Ronaldinho by anonymously flooding footballer forums with posts about “Ronaldinho and his fiance the French top model Alexandra Paressant” and doctoring photos. Fans and the media started to accept the fake relationship as fact.

4. Paressant took a quicker route with Parker: she contacted X17 with images of what she said were text messages from Parker and stories about their alleged sex life involving Nutella, strawberries and a vibrator shaped like a duck.

Ronaldinho? Doctoring photos? A vibrator shaped like a duck? This girl’s imagination is…amazing! And her perseverance is inspiring. Our publisher asked us to get an interview with Kaka this week and we might call this gal to help us out. If we need to talk to Tony, we know where to get a hold of him.

Tony Parker’s French Fatal Attraction And Me [Huffington Post]
Image [Doctissimo]