Christmas time is here. And earlier, as I opened the presents, I thought back on this year and what a Secret Sports Santa could bring as gifts for 2008. What would make me a better fan… and more loyal fan. Sure, I could’ve thought about little Jimmy in Des Moines asking his daddy why that big man took steroids, and wished that all away. But I’m way more selfish than that. No, here are my top five 2008 requests for the . And because they’re coming from me, they all have to do with football… of some kind.

• Give me the damn NFL Network. I don’t care who has to die, but could someone please wave the white flag and allow the channel to run on all the cable systems? If I have to sit through another HGTV show with my girlfriend because the Thursday and Sunday night games aren’t on, I’ma get real pissy.
• Stop this anti-foreigner bullshit in the EPL. I mean seriously, when did it become cool to ostracize a whole (sizable) segment of your sport, most of whom are better than you or are your best player? It sucks that players have to sometimes deal with it from the stands, but fellow players, sometimes on your own team? This shouldn’t be that way.
• For NFL coaches to curb the trend of Running Back By Committee which is the bain of almost every fantasy football team’s downfall. This year it was Minnesota (yay Chester Taylor!) and last year it was Denver (yes, of course I should’ve known better). Please, coaches, pick one running back and stick with them. Str8 Cash Homiez would greatly appreciate it.
• Al Davis to step aside from running the Oakland Raiders. As much as I revere the man, it’s time for him to go as the team’s figurehead. Our offensive strategy is stuck in the ’70s, and four straight years of at least ten losses is a sign that something isn’t right up in the Bay. It got to the point that when former 49ers owner Eddide DeBartolo, Jr.’s name came up as a potential buyer for the franchise I got giddy. Remember, DeBartolo Jr. is a convicted felon and, well, a former 49er owner.
• XXL EPL jerseys. Sure I could lose weight, but where’s the fun in that? Love me for who I am, but do it while I’m wearing a Spurs Berbatov kit.

See Secret Santa, I don’t ask for much. A little help with my fantasy and real life teams is all. Any of these would be a lot better present than the Home Depot gift card my brother-in-law got me. Thanks,

Alex