In baseball, you can be chubby. Hell, you can be on the fringe of obesity and still hit .364. Milwaukee Brewers player Prince Fielder is a butterball, but he can hit a baseball a half-mile. San Francisco Giants catcher Benji Molina probably eats a dozen tamales before he catches a game. Sois the nature of America’s favorite pastime: baseball and not eating. Yet, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen has advised Florida Marlin’s 3B Miguel Cabrera to keep shedding his weight after Cabrera was highly criticized last year for his robust mid-section. And we ain’t talkin’ bout the jewels.

”I thought Miggy was taking himself out of the game,” Guillen said of Cabrera’s weight. “When you’re 24 years old and you’re fat and you perform, you’re good. But when you don’t perform, you are a fat boy. Miggy understands that. Now he is in the best shape he has ever been in.”

If there’s something the steroid-riddled integrity of baseball needs right now, it’s a fat dude nicknamed Miggy to make us laugh. We say let “Miggy” eat that extra serving, or two. With 34 homeruns, 119 RBI’s and a .320 batting average last year, you can argue that “Miggy” was hardly “out of the game.” He was listed at 210 pounds last year, which means he was really 225. If you divided that by the 34 HR, it means you can credit 1 homerun to every 6.6 pounds of fat. So if he’s lost, let’s say, fifteen pounds, then he’d only lose around 2.5 homeruns. The Marlins, or whoever picks him up, can live with that. We suck at math, so if that didn’t make sense, shut up.

Guillen: Expect a slimmer Cabrera [Miami Herald]
Image [NY1]