Heads Up: Jessica Simpson's Happy Tony Romo's Not This Fast

A condensed version of the Dallas Cowboys’ season, set to the Looney Tunes theme. Too bad “Enter Sandman” is too long. [Deadspin]
Real Madrid still hasn’t given up hope of getting Cristiano Ronaldo one day. And who would blame them? He’s dreamy… [World Soccer]

The average baseball player’s salary is beating inflation! The new yearly average is $2.82 million, or about the same amount as we’ll see in our entire lives… if we start putting into our 401(K) now. [Yahoo!]
Jose Canseco is changing publishers two months before his book comes out and he’s moved on to a new co-author, the guy who hooked up with OJ to write If I Did It. What is this guy, a chronicler of scumbags? [NY Times]
Nery Castillo’s time in England isn’t going so well, is it? At least he didn’t break anything and he’s going to be out max three weeks. [mediotiempo]