If you were in the LA area yesterday, you might have received a strange phone call.. No, it wasn’t from that weirdo you dated last week, but new UCLA Bruins football coach Rick Neuheisel. He’s called (via the school’s marketing department voicemail system) “thousands of LA residents” introducing himself and talking a little smack in the process. Apparently this is the penance for getting canned from your last college coaching gig for gambling.

Hi, this is Rick Neuheisel and I’m excited to be the new head coach of the UCLA Bruin football team.

I wanted to take a moment through this broadcast message to reintroduce myself to the Bruin family, Bruin donors, season ticket holders, and many of the UCLA alumni and southern California football fans. I am thrilled to be back home and I, like you, believe UCLA to be the finest school in the country. We offer the single best combination of academic and athletic excellence.

The team across town has risen to national prominence, and it’s time we meet this head on. I’m excited to lead this program to the national stage and I can’t wait to get started.

Well, if you’re trying to beat USC at its own game, there’s one quick way we think you can top them: shorter skirts for the song girls. It’s a lot easier (and more fun) than going to Iowa to recruit offensive lineman.

Slick Rick Has a Message for You [Wizard of Odds]
Image [Wizard of Odds]