Marion Jones was convicted of check fraud and lying to a federal agent about pumping steroids into her butt in October and now the time has come to face the wrath of the judicial system. Jones is looking at six months in prison, but she’s filed a memorandum asking for probation instead of prison time because, since the world of sports hates her guts, she feels that’s enough punishment.

“She has suffered enormous personal shame, anguish and embarrassment. She has been stripped of her gold medals, her accomplishments, her wealth and her public standing.”

The memorandum cites multiple reasons why an alternative sentence of probation is an adequate, and necessary, punishment for Jones:

• She’s a mom. Um, no.
• She once flew from Berlin to New York City when her father passed away in 1999. Wouldn’t any decent human-being do this?
• Jones started the “Marion Jones Foundation” in Belize, which specializes in “improving sports facilities in the country”. Steroid dispensers in all the locker rooms sounds right; and noble.
• She believes in God. Sweet.
• After she vehemently denied, in front of the nation, of ever using steroids, Marion reversed her stance and confessed to being a cheat…so she should be free.

If she does get out of prison time, maybe she’ll have some valuable advice for that other high-profile athlete who’s denying steroid use.

Jones’ lawyers: Don’t imprison her [CNN]
Marion Jones Seeks Prison Pass [TSG]
Image 1 [Parental Wisdom]
Image 2 [TSG]
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