Did you know there are congressional hearings going on today concerning steroids and baseball? You didn’t? Well, this just in. Miguel Tejada, you are the grand prize winner of a luxury, all expenses paid by the federal government, incursion on your privacy with the intent to eradicate your dignified reputation as a ball player because you’re a lying sack of cow dung. Not only will you be grilled by federal investigators, but you’ll also be branded as a stinkin’ cheat by each and every one of your fans: except the guy that tattooed “Tejada: My Hero” on his shoulder. We know you’re out there. And Tejada knows you’ll still love him. Why the good fortune of being on the federal goverments’ we’ve got nothing better to do list? Perjury.

Slugger Miguel Tejada will be investigated by the Justice Department to determine wither he lied to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee in August 2006 when he was interviewed in connection with the first baseman Rafael Palmeiro steroids case. Ranking minority member Tom Davis said that as a result of a review of the Tejada case, the former American League MVP might have “knowingly provided false material ands statements to the committee.”

This steroid fiasco is implicating more people than a Scooter Libby implosion. Obviously this is turning into a manhunt, and since the federal government has nothing better to spend their our money on, then the conquest of steroids will continue. As for Miguel Tejada, just sit back in Houston, bat .300 and smack some homers, brah. The feds will wait until after the All-Star break to lock you up…if you’re guilty.

Tejada target of steroids investigation [Yahoo Sports]
Image [AP]