Out of all the non-narcotic habits to kick, caffeine has to be up there with cigarettes and crazy-ass women. Between the headaches, cramping and sweet taste of Diet Cherry Pepsi (sorry, projecting), we understand Carlos Zambrano’s reluctance to give up the stuff on his doctor’s orders after cramping slowed down his first start. But hey, as long as he’s not popping bennies like baseball players (or drag queens) did in 1977, it’s all good right?

Zambrano laughed on Sunday morning when asked if he’d stopped drinking coffee and energy drinks, saying he now does it “under the table.” Told later that [Cub manager Lou] Piniella implied he was still drinking too much of the caffeinated beverages, Zambrano raised his eyebrows.

“You think Lou lives in my house in Chicago?” he said with a grin.

No, but maybe he’s secretly eyeing him at the clubs.

“I’ve never had Red Bull in my life, but I’ve actually seen people at a bar order Red Bull and vodka,” Piniella said. “I can’t comprehend that. If I had a couple of those things, I’d be like the malt liquor bull (from the old TV commercials) leaving the bar. My lord.”

If we ever saw Sweet Lou drink a couple of those, we would have to preemptively call the cops on him. For his sake.

Zambrano fights to give up caffeine [Chicago Sun-Times]
Image [bleacherbloggers.com]