Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo take us into their bastardly rich, glamorous and decadent lives via photographs of them celebrating Romo’s 28th birthday in some suite in Dallas, TX. Here you’ll catch a glimpse of Jessica’s best Smurfette impression and Tony Romo gives us his best “American Pie” impression.

“She licked cake from his face as everyone cheered them on. It was quite a spectacle,” says one club insider. “But they looked really happy together. Jessica had blue icing all over her hands and mouth and Tony was laughing.”

They make us want to weep in our dust collecting, profusely overrun with old copies of Playboy and Tristan Tzara manifestos, room. You think she’s available for bachelor parties?

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo at suite [D Magazine]
Romo got it all over Jessica’s face [With Leather]
Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo’s Cake-Licking Birthday Celebration [People]
Images [D Magazine, via With Leather]