'Member? We're Not Going To Write Up A Stupid "Magic" Joke About The Orlando Magic Advancing.

NBA Playoffs 2008: Sike. What turns NBA teams into a plume of smoke and makes them disappear into the dark crevices of loserville? The Orlando Magic. Yeeehaw, suckas. Orlando Magic 102, Toronto Raptors 92. [AP]
MLB 2008: Our petty little pork-infested hearts almost ceased from beating permanently when we caught a glimpse of the Chicago White Sox/Baltimore Orioles score; It says 3-3!!! WTF! Argh! What do we do?! There are no…ties…in…(gargle)…baseball. [ESPN]

Premiership: Arsenal are guaranteed a Champions League spot for next year, even though they skewered their chances to win their domestic title a long time ago. Emmanuel Adebayor scored a hat trick and now the Gunners can sit back and…wait for next year. Arsenal 6, Derby 2. [Telegraph UK]
NBA Playoffs 2008: The brooms were out in full swing as the Los Angeles Lakers swept out the Denver Nuggets from the playoffs. LA 107, Denver 101. [LA Times]

Image [AP]