At some point, someone much wiser that us is going to strap a microphone tp Ozzie Guillen’s body so the world can know what’s coming out of his mouth 24/7. It can’t be any worse than Barry Bonds’ reality show a couple of years ago; alternately, there is no ceiling for a man who some fans thing is a racist, but the media can’t get enough of. Even the vaunted New York media loves him—of course, it’s because he’s playing them by talking up their favorite son, Derek Jeter over… who? A-Rod? Babe Ruth? George Frazier? We’d love to know.

“I keep saying the best [Yankees] player who ever happened—bigger than someone else, but I’m not going to say the name here—is Derek Jeter,” Guillen began, perched in the Sox dugout. He merely was warming up.

“Derek Jeter has everything in his life. He’s got money. He’s got rings. He’s got …” Guillen paused, because timing means everything in comedy.

“He’s not married.” Wait for the laugh. “At the All-Star Game (where Guillen managed him in 2006), I looked around to see if he has anything I don’t like. No. He’s the perfect man.”

Yes, and he won’t be losing his figure any time soon, so that’s a plus.

Guillen: Derek Jeter ‘the perfect man’ [Chicago Tribune]
Image [jackhodgson.com]