If you were wondering why Machochip posted sparingly yesterday, it’s because your fearless leader was battling the effects of food poisoning. Basically, don’t eat fries saturated in mozzarella cheese after midnight. Since we were intimate with a toilet all...

As the seconds ticked off last night’s 100-92 Lakers’ victory, propelling them into the Finals, Los Angeles’ Sasha Vujacic made a three-pointer that had a Butterfly Effect that was felt all across the nation, not to mention in front...

We always thought the English had an affinity for fast sports like soccer, racing and tossing blood pudding after a night of drinking. So what are they doing snapping up tickets for the next NFL regular season game in...

Baby steps. That’s what we were thinking when we got our first look at the new Tecmo Bowl that’s being released for the Nintendo DS. We don’t have a DS, so we’re hoping for the Wii version to come...

VIA GUANABEE: They’ve found a lost tribe in the rainforest on the Brazil-Peru border who probably weren’t lost, but you know, just avoiding us. This is exciting because it means hippies can make an argument to stop deforestation in...

The preamble to this video is a great visual of what goes through our imagination whenever we’re writing a post. Well, minus the high-heels. Since Tom Waits is going on tour for the first time in a bajillion years...

We don’t talk about swimming much. And when we usually do, the topic has nothing to do with Olympic coverage, swim meets or professional athletes. Cue drunken British guy on holiday who tried to swim across Venice’s (Italy, brah)...

We’re guaranteeing that every man that reads this site has somehow drifted into girl-on-girl-lala land where girls ride unicorns, lip-locked in a seductive-glee and everything happens in super slow motion because of the above headline. MTV “Shot At Love...

Finally, someone from Mexico’s soccer camp comes out shooting the shit about Esven Goran Eriksson possibly taking over for ousted Hugo Sanchez. We’re actually glad it’s Jarde Borgetti, Mexico’s leading striker, and not some towel-boy that Univision paid 200...

Isn’t it amazing how everything goes with a burger? Mustard, ketchup, lettuce and boobs can all make a Burger King burger better. Isn’t that right, weird advert people who made this? [Break] NBA referees were being hassled by San...

Celebrated career-flopper and eccentric boobie-touter Mariah Carey threw out the first pitch before a Yomiuri Giants’ game in Tokyo yesterday. Rockin’ her best Japanese Manga gear and looking like an exact replica of Takashi Murakami’s “Hiropon” sculpture (minus the...

What’s the best way to halt a team’s progression to the top of the standings? Find a loophole that eliminates their best player from the roster. Sadly, we’re not even talking about a professional league. This is what parents...

The NBA has realized that their games have been a little… um… overly dramatic over the past few years and is going to start fining players who egregiously flop during games next season. Like the Spurs don’t have enough...

When it comes to the Balkans, everyone balks a bit when naming countries that make up the region. Just the other day we had a conversation with a homeless guy in Washington Square Park who insisted Yugoslavia existed to-date....

USA’s national soccer team was expecting to stun England on their home turf, but the direct opposite happened. And it all started with this brilliant header from John Terry. Sure the guy likes to spit blazing hot loogies at...

While some of our fantasy teams have been enjoying the Tigers’ Carlos Guillen’s fine season, he’s actually having a tough go of late. That’s because according to his coach, Jim Leyland, the third baseman has been dealing with hemorrhoids...

Be it far from us to judge other people’s fighting style. But when two hipsters start duking it out in the middle of New York’s Union Square, you just have to expect some commentary. Of course being New York,...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA Playoffs 2008: Once Ray Allen starts poppin’ threes, there’s really no turning back for the Celtics. Detroit clawed their way back in the final minutes of the game, but it wasn’t enough....

It’s hump day and it’s time to get our dance on because we’ve been posting for too long and our asses are stuck to our chairs. Yes. We have multiple asses. Don’t forget to tip your waiter when you’re...

Remember that lovely treat we gave you on Memorial Day concerning those Nereida Gallardo photos? Well,The Sun in London has removed the censors to show Nereida Gallardo, once again, in all her glory. Unfortunately, they happen to disclose absolutely...

Wii Fit hit stores May 19th in hopes of providing fitness-phobic gamers with an outlet to shed some lard. It costs $89.99 retail, but we imagine it to be a worthy expense because it’s much cheaper than a gym...

Seriously, the Apocalypse is near. Kids are going crazy. MMA Fighters are simultaneously dropping like flies. And MLS fans are actually adopting European tendencies, though be it the bad ones. What’s next? Monkeys that can control robot arms with...

With Leather dug up a double knockout gem. MMA fighters Aaron Wetherspoon and Anthony Lapsley knocked each other to the canvas, resulting in a technical draw. Interestingly, this happened two days before that other double knockout we showed you....

The world has been chanting a familiar chorus about MLS since David Beckham stepped onto the Home Depot Center’s pitch for the first time: when is America going to embrace the globalized characteristics of the “World Game?” Unbeknown to...

Two-four-six-eight who do we appreciate? Absolutly no one, biatch. /Punch. Take that! Yeah… That’s not how we were taught to salute the opposition in little league. And it’s probably not how you were taught either. Unfortunately, some little leaguer...

“Agents agree to terms” is always a phrase that’s regularly tossed around throughout transfer rumors and we don’t like it one bit. But, news out of London has us scratching our noggins and wondering what in the world Giovanni...

Derek Fisher totally fouled Brent Barry last night and got away with it. Yet, a rational being will isolate notorious kung-fu kicker Bruce Bowen and karate-choppin’ Robert Horry as the reason for this. Hell, it’s simply karma, man. And...

There’s no excuse for LDU de Quito’s defender allowing Enrique Esqueda to climb through the air like howler monkey. Seriously, dig an elbow into the guy’s rib and he’ll barely rise an inch. Or, step on his toes before...

Evo Morales—pictured here probably in the middle of a blow-aided sprint—must be a happy man today. See, the Bolivian President/minor-league soccer player has seen the shackles FIFA threw on high-altitude teams, which includes his own national team, thrown off....

What in the wide world of sports is going on with the state of the fan today? Yesterday, the NFL commissioner wanted to neuter the fans in the stands via a “conduct policy.” Now comes word from the Chicago...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA Playoffs 2008: Lamar Odom’s strong finish in the fourth, along with Kobe Bryant’s strong performance, helped LA outlast the San Antonio Spurs final five point push in the game. Oh, and Derek...

When you want to guarantee victory in a soccer match, sabotage is usually an option…especially in Italy. However, unless you’re in cahoots with a powerful politician, or the mafia, you’re more than likely to be busted for, let’s say,...

We can’t believe we forgot about this stinkin’ post after talking about it for an hour yesterday. We were so enraged by it, not for it’s sanctimonious theme, but because we weren’t baptized at fucking Dodgers Stadium, a.k.a. Chavez...

There isn’t a science behind picking a new national team soccer coach. Yet, we imagine there’s a semblance of methodology the likes of searching for a wet t-shirt contestant on a Cancun beach during Spring Break: whomever raises their...

If there’s a running thread that joins all levels of football—from Pop Warner to the pros—it’s that you’ll eventually encounter some fan violence in the stands. But NFL commissioner Roger Goddell has decided to do something about it. Ban...

The Spokane Chiefs, Canadian Hockey League champions this year, managed to turn infinite jubilation from their fans into sincere disdain when their trophy fell apart during post-game celebrations. Something tells us NHL fans wouldn’t have been so, um, pacifistic....

That’s not the Grim Reaper sitting behind homeboy with the UFC cap. It’s pop-squealer, Michael Jackson. And apparently we’re the only ones in the dark about his infatuation with mixed martial arts. Jacko hit the Ultimate Fighting Championship match...

It’s always a party when Jackass is involved in douchebaggery. And when you get Kobe to sign on for a viral ad consisting of a kiddie-pool filled with snakes of the slithering kind, then you know it’s bound to...

Ever wonder what Rafael Nadal’s dopplegangers might look like if made from clay? Well this really freakin’ odd KIA ad illustrates that they’d be little head-banded shrieking grunts. Also, they’d be sodomized for the good of mankind like the...

A tipster dropped this sensational picture of a foot painted as an Adidas “Gazelle” sneaker in our inbox and our first inclination was to look for Banksy images and Spencer Tunick photos. Actually, can you imagine Banksy hijacking someone’s...

This goal is impressive because anyone with a lesser pedigree would’ve tensed up and possibly had a chance at goal. David Beckham, on the other hand, has been doing this for years. Yet, the ball didn’t dribble into the...

The New York Yankees are hosting this year’s MLB All-Star Game and they don’t seem to mind that David Ortiz will be participating the game. They also don’t mind that people are tossing around comparisons between the Sultan of...

While we feel the music should have erred on the side of “Yakkity Sax” in honor of Benny Hill, we can’t hate on this video of two scantily clad ladies (or as they call them in Italy, “women”) interrupting...

Whas Happened In Sports This Holiday Weekend NBA Playoffs 2008: A long weekend without blogging duties meant a lot of time dedicated to actually watching sports. Case in point, watching the Celtics get burned is a much more satisfying...

Our Memorial Day weekend was interrupted by an overzealous Spaniard dropping an email yesterday wanting to sell off NSFW pictures of Nereida Gallardo—Cristiano Ronaldo’s newest girlfriend—and friends showing titty while striking sensuous poses in a Palma de Mallorca club...

The big boss man is giving us the rest of the afternoon to commence drinking. He’s also giving us Monday (Memorial Day) off so don’t expect to see anything for the next few days. Unless, of course, Diego Maradona...

When Chelsea’s Nicolas Anelka entered the match against Manchester United during the Champions League final, scores of fans believed it was a wise move by Avram Grant. Little did everyone know that when Anelka strolled towards the penalty spot...

Pity Luis Gonzalez. The 18-year MLB veteran has been one of the main leaders on the surprising Florida Marlins club that is first in the NL East, in front of teams that spend 20-times they do like the Mets....

That’s a lovely first name, isn’t it? Since it’s Friday, and we’ve been scouring the net for a goal that will excavate any sort of appreciation from you, we’re going to settle with this one because it’s all sunny...

We’ve stumbled upon some other stories that may fancy your sense of humor this morning, but Omar Bravo’s transfer to Deportivo La Coruña left us puzzled and seeking refuge via downing a Tecate at 9am. What the hell is...