Heads Up: Don't Let The Man Keep Your Pants Down.

We’re guessing this is about a one in a million chance. Well, maybe in Brazil it would be around a one in twelve chance of happening. They’re really touchy and grabby over there. [Unprofessional Foul]
Sportswritings mogul, head honcho, and legend Pat Jordan wants you to know that blogs are the medium of the future. Suck on that, suckers. [Gawker]

AC Milan’s breaks aren’t starting off well in the off-season. It was reported today that Kaka may need off-season surgery. Goooo Brazil. [Javno]
Are Eric Gagne and Fidel Castro the same person? Who knows, but they’re both on their deathbeds, respectively. [Bugs & Cranks]
Derek Jeter is dating someone new and by dating we mean he’s been seen with her and “possibly” holding hands. Sports gossip rulez. [With Leather]

Watch out for that cleat!