Heads Up: Minor-League Games Are Full Of Drunken Babies.

Drunk babies are scary because they vomit everywhere and continue to smile; they grip your fingers with their curiously small hands and never let go; and they’re usually appropriating your girlfriend’s attention because they happen to be “cute” when they burp. Damn drunken babies and their crazy mohwaks. [Deadspin]
Fabio Capello could serve up to six-year prison term if he’s found guilty of perjury in Roma. England are just crossing their fingers that he can stay on until, um, oh right. They aren’t playing in any major tourneys anytime soon. [Daily Mail]

Boca Juniors will be denied access to their own stadium, La Bombonera because of fan violence that involved a piece of ice, a referee and blood. Geez, you can’t throw anything nowadays. [SI]
Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith can’t agree on anything, especially whether, um, something about Kobe and the Celtics and who deserves the MVP. Meh. It’ll be settled in the finals. [With Leather]
NY Giants’ linebacker Antonio Pierce is an intern at the Howard Stern Show. Really. [Chicago Tribune]
It’s official: Kobe Bryant wins the NBA’s MVP award. It only took 12 years, three championships, rape “allegations”, a horrible break-up with Shaq and a menacing threat to the Lakers that he wanted to be traded. Yeah. [Yahoo]