Seriously, the Apocalypse is near. Kids are going crazy. MMA Fighters are simultaneously dropping like flies. And MLS fans are actually adopting European tendencies, though be it the bad ones. What’s next? Monkeys that can control robot arms with their brains? Wait, what? Nooooooooooo!

Two monkeys with tiny sensors in their brains have learned to control a prosthetic arm with only their thoughts, using it to reach for and grab food and even to adjust for the size and stickiness of morsels when necessary, scientists reported Wednesday.

The report, released online by the journal Nature, is the most striking demonstration to date of brain-machine interface technology, which scientists expect will eventually allow people with spinal cord injuries and other paralyzing conditions to gain more control over their lives. The findings suggest that brain-controlled prosthetics, while not yet practical, are at least technically within reach.

And you know what happens next right? Yup, these damn monkeys will be frying french fries at McDonald’s worldwide.

Monkeys Control a Robot Arm With Their Thoughts [NY Times]