If there’s a running thread that joins all levels of football—from Pop Warner to the pros—it’s that you’ll eventually encounter some fan violence in the stands. But NFL commissioner Roger Goddell has decided to do something about it. Ban alcohol and get security guards who aren’t straight out of high school to deal with drunken meatheads? No, of course not. That would make all those Budweiser commercials hypocritical. Instead, Goodell’s going to draw up a conduct policy that he wants every fan to abide by. Because the first thing you want to give drunken tailgaters before entering the stadium is a list of “rules.”

Goodell announced he will be issuing a fan conduct policy that will hopefully forestall the nuclear option of banning alcohol at NFL games. After all, of the many revenue streams in pro sports, can any possibly be as lucrative as the stream of domestic beer selling for $8 a cup?

“We want everyone to be able to come to our stadiums, behave properly, enjoy this experience but don’t ruin it for others,” said Goodell. “We will be focusing on that, including the implementation of an NFL fan conduct policy which we will have out prior to the season.”

Yes, because the people they’re trying to get in line are rational enough to follow a “conduct policy.”

Apparently sneeze/grunt is the new intimidation pose.

Time to crack down on NFL hooligans [FOX Sports]
Video [Mr. Irrelevant]