As the old adage goes, if a woman punches you in the arm, she’s totally into you. But what if she preferred to knock you the f-out? Would that scare you away, even if she was smoking hot? Women like that don’t exist, you say? Pshaw to that, fair reader. Contributing editor Alex Ferreyra knows of such women and compiled them here to warn you—or entice you. Whatever may float you boat.

When I tuned into CBS’ Kimbo Slice-Mixed Martial Arts spectacle a couple of weeks back, I didn’t know I was going to fall in love. No, it wasn’t with Slice. Although a monk haircut on a guy who’s 6’2 and 240 lbs. is sexy. It was Gina Carano, an MMA pugilist who fought on the undercard and jabbed and kicked her way into my heart. As Homer Simpson once said, I hadn’t felt that way since I first heard “Funkytown” (or if my girlfriend’s reading this—since I met you, sweetie.)

But what is it about an athlete like Carano, who mixes brute force and a great ass (which comes from working out to get the brute force… it’s a delicious cycle), that drives men nuts? There’s only one way to find out. I’ll find other fierce femmes like Carano—tough as nails with the hotness to match—and dissect their styles to figure out what about them turns men like me into drooling palookas.

Gina Carano
Age: 26
Hometown: Las Vegas, Nevada
Arena of choice: Mixed-Martial Arts Octogon
This is why she’s hot: Carano has become the poster child for hot, ass-kicking women. With a body to die for (yes, even for men—look at that stomach!), an undefeated record in her MMA career (plus, she went 12-1 during her stint fighting in the Muay Thai kickboxing circuit) and a spot on American Gladiators as “Crush,” she controls the roost with a firm fist. Her dad is a former Dallas Cowboys backup quarterback, so you know whose side of the family those arm extension genes came from (and that you can’t bullshit her on anything pigskin related). Also, she got her first MMA win by submission via a rear naked choke. Add a bunny costume to that and you’ve got most men’s ultimate fantasy. Okay fine, just mine. But after you watch this clip, odds are you wouldn’t mind the bunny costume either—even if it was you wearing it. (Plus, maybe she can work out some of my issues with that Psych degree she’s been working on at UNLV.)

Stacy Keibler
Age: 29
Hometown: Los Angeles, California
Arena of choice: Wrestling ring
This is why she’s hot: Pro Wrestling has always had a prime place for women, whether it was fighting like The Fabulous Moolah (R.I.P.), who wrassled opponents well into her 70s, or managing like Macho Man Savage’s steward, Miss Elizabeth (um, R.I.P. again.) So it was hard to narrow it down to just one for this list. The reason I picked Keibler was A) she isn’t Chyna, B) she’s 5’11 with 42” legs, C) she’s actually been in the ring and duked it out as opposed to most of the eye candy in pro wrestling, (although sometimes the fights involved de-pantifying, so… win-win?), and D) she’s got a degree in mass communications. She knows the power of giving the world what they want and she knows how to get paid for it. There’s nothing sexier than a woman in control of her destiny.

Danica Patrick
Age: 26
Hometown: Roscoe, Illinois
Arena of choice: Either on the race-car track, or in the pit
This is why she’s hot: Danica Patrick will freakin’ cut you, man. Or at least run you off the road. That’s the vibe I’m getting from the race car queen who never lets the fact that she’s in a car dampen her fighting spirit. In the past year and a half, she’s gotten into it with drivers Ryan Briscoe and Dan Weldon in the pits because they ended her days with bumps she deemed out of line. A lot of fans, and some racers too, take it upon themselves to remind her that they find her behavior inappropriate because, you know, other drivers like Tony Stewart never act like complete douchebags when they feel slighted on the track. But I don’t hate on her, regardless of whether she’s using her pretty face to gain sponsors (who fund her career.) How can I when icons like Richard Petty are saying things like “I just don’t think [car racing’s] a sport for women,” and Formula-1 racers are questioning whether a womanly physique would prevent you from being strapped in properly? I’d want to kick everyone’s ass, too.

Laila Ali
Age: 30
Hometown: Miami, FL
Arena of choice: Boxing ring
This is why she’s hot: It must be awesome to be Muhammad Ali’s kid. You’re just born with the genes to kick ass and Laila Ali has used them to the fullest . She’s got a 24-0 record with 21 knock outs over the past nine years, and in February, she retained her WBC and WIBA super middleweight titles by knocking out Gwendolyn O’Neil at 56 seconds of the first round. All this, and she still found time to finish third on Dancing with the Stars, (she’s actually the second person on this list to be on the show, along with Stacey Keibler), and co-host American Gladiators with Hulk Hogan. (The same show that features Gina Carano as “Crush.” Man, hot, ass-kicking women just congregate to the same places, don’t they?)

Angela Rugerrio
Age: 28
Hometown: Los Angeles
Arena of choice: Hockey rink
This is why she’s hot: This Harvard grad can flex her mental and physical muscle in any arena—whether it’s on the ice or in the boardroom. You might remember the three-time Olympic medalist trying to outwit “The Donald” on The Apprentice in ‘07, but even tougher was her experience as the first non-Goalie woman to play professional hockey in North America. She played with the men during the Central Hockey League’s 2005 season, so you know she had her share of crashes into the boards and trips onto the ice, but Ruggerio was fine. Her brother played for the Edmonton Oilers, so odds are it wasn’t the first time a guy tried to knock her off her skates and I totally dig that about her.

Michelle Yeoh
Age: 45
Hometown: Hong Kong
Arena of choice: The Silver Screen
This is why she’s hot: The elder-stateswoman of the group and former Miss Wold contestant is just as sexy as her younger counterparts. Even before Yeoh came into the American consciousness in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and the James Bond flick Tomorrow Never Dies, she was kicking ass across movie screens in Asia. Her turns in martial arts films like Tai Chi Master, Wing Chun and Police Story 3 are legendary for their groundbreaking use of women as central figures, and the fact that she did all her own stunts. Plus, French President Jacques Chirac awarded her the Knight of the Legion of Honour of France. Without looking up past winners, we feel safe in saying she’s probably the hottest person ever to receive the award.

Chun-Li Xiang
Age: 1s and 0s
Hometown: International
Arena of choice: Street fighting circle
This is why she’s hot: You might think I’m joking, but ever since I started pumping quarters into the Street Fighter II machine across the street from my Junior High, there was something about Chun-Li that made me swoon. Of course, I was 13 so a girl bending over made me swoon back then. But in retrospect, I think it was also the sense that she didn’t play by the rules. She’s a woman fighting in the male dominated SF tournaments and that makes her kick ass. (And those massive thighs don’t hurt, either.)

Today there’s this whole backstory about her being an Interpol agent trying to bring down SF villain M. Bison that’s going to be the crux of the upcoming Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li movie. And as an added bonus, she’s going to be played by ridiculously gorgeous Kristin Kreuk from Smallville. Yeah, I might turn into a Hadouken fireball the first time she does her spinning bird kick up on screen.

So what do all of these women have in common that we love so much? Mostly that they know what they want. They kick ass, whether it’s an opponent or obstacle in life, and take names later. And that’s attractive to anyone. At the end of the day, isn’t it the entire package we’re after?

Oh yeah, and a killer butt doesn’t hurt, either.

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