Heads Up: David Beckham Will Pelt Your Family Jewels And Smile.

David Beckham and the Galaxy went heads up with D.C. United yesterday and lost miserably. Only consolation for them is knowing that David Beckham’s kicks still have enough to knock the daylights out of an opposing player. New stratagem, Galaxy: have Beckham nail every defender within the first ten minutes and then send three attackers throughout the rest of the game. [Buzz Cuts]
It’s safe to say that Europeans celebrate a little more openly than most champions. Even with camera’s rolling, Spain’s futboleros surged out of their locker rooms wearing only tighty-blackies and unabashed. Only thing missing was the botas full of wine. [With Leather]

Christian news site One News Now has a filter on the word “gay.” It caused some serious hilarity this weekend with sprinter Tyson Gay’s last name. [FanHous]
Here’s a video clip of the closing ceremonies from the Euro 2008 final. [Awful Announcing]
This may never happen in New York City, but in Chicago, White Sox fans and Cubs’ fans will unite to kick the snot out of an unruly fan. Say it with us now: U-N-I-T-Y! [Busted Coverage]
German goalkeeper Jens Lehmann doesn’t believe—in any way, shape or form—that Germany lost because they couldn’t control the ball and complete their passes. Nope. He thinks the match was fixed. That’s an automatic $50,000 donation to UEFA. [The Spoiler]