Not sure what to ask for this Father’s Day? Well, let Machochip introduce you to the most fun you’ll ever have with a plush toy: Teddy Babes. According to their treasure-trove web site, Teddy Babes are “Plush Girlfriends for boys too big for Teddy Bears.” But wait, how are Teddy Babes different from, say, jerking off with a Beanie Baby?:

Unlike conventional love dolls and related adult sex toys, a Teddy Babe’s body is made of a soft, velvety-plush material stuffed firmly with non-allergenic poly-fil, which both mimics the silkiness of human flesh while giving the character a warmth and a ‘cuddly’ dimension that is largely lacking in latex love dolls (blow up dolls), silicone love dolls, and other adult toys.

Um, yeah. Nothing says human touch like poly-fil, but we digress. Let’s talk about that junk in your plushy trunk! (Follow the NSFW train to cuddly perversion after the jump…)

A Teddy Babe’s rear is sexy, round, and squeezable.

Indeed! What about tetas?

A Teddy Babe’s breasts are full and soft. The nipples are made of the same velvety plush material and are soft, silky and kissable.

A Teddy Babe can be posed in various positions. She can also, within reason, support herself in various poses so as to accommodate different sexual positions.

Wow. But is she nimble with the digits?

As with other areas of the body, each of your Teddy Babe’s fingers possess a durable, bendable wire skeleton, allowing you to form her hands into various gestures, or even to grasp certain objects.

Like a beer. And speaking of our favorite things, the Teddy Babe vagina is apparently the gift that keeps on giving:

Perhaps the most unique and unusual feature of your Teddy Babe is her vaginal entry point; complete with simulated pubic hair and an ultra-silky plush insert, or as we like to call it, “Pussy Velour.” Providing an ‘unorthodox’ but silky-smooth and highly-pleasurable sensation, the plush insert extends deep into the Teddy Babe’s body and is collapsed and compressed by the surrounding poly-fil stuffing, until something enters and causes it to expand. It is, therefore, a tight, compressed space, just like a real vagina.

We’re definitely naming our next band “Pussy Velour.”

Teddy Babes [TeddyBabes.com]