Out of all the major American sports, baseball lends itself most to being bogged down with numbers minutiae. Billy Beane, GM of the Oakland A’s, swears by the numbers and runs his team on what they tell him. But can soccer be same way? You’d think not, but a suddenly cash-flush UEFA has been using a whole bunch of new toys during Euro 2008 to keep stats that they really have no reason to keep like how much a player has run over the course of the game. Really? Can’t they just pay $100 for a bunch of pedometers and send the rest to the Machochip Atlantic City fund?

There is a statistics page [on the UEFA site] which reveals, surprise, just how unrevealing most (let’s say 82.5%) statistics are. Some flashy graphic invention is dedicated to telling us that Eric Abidal, the French left back, passes the ball often to the player just ahead of him, the left midfielder, Florent Malouda. Surprise! Cristiano Ronaldo, who takes Portugal’s free kicks, likes to shoot a lot. Big surprise!

No, Cristiano Ronaldo being into Bingo is a big surprise. Let’s get some money for investigations into hobbies instead of the other stuff, UEFA. We secretly suspect Wayne Rooney has a Bratz doll fetish, so this could be the way we find out!

How Far Must a Player Run for it to Cease to Matter? [NY Times]
Image [crunchgear]