Self-defense techniques have been refined throughout the years for people of all kinds. We think Richard Simmons might have gotten into self-defense at one point after Tae-Bo became a hit in the late 90’s. But, nothing compares to self-defense for dorks. From shelling out a furious arsenal of fists to balls, to kicking and squeeling on the ground like a tazmanian devil, these self-defense techniques are perfect for anyone to use. In fact, our landlord just jacked us for 130 pesos. We’re going for his jugular, asap. Check out the clip (longer than most vids we post, but it’s Friday) after the jump.

Video [College Humor]