Whas Happened In Sports Last Night

• NFL: If you’re wondering why the Patriots only scored two touchdowns over a woeful KC defense, you must’ve been sleeping off a major hangover Sunday and missed the first weekend of the NFL season (Ed Note: What are you, a Commie?). Tom Brady, the 2007 league MVP and energizing force that led the league in touchdown passes and his team to the highest point total in years, got his knee crushed in the first quarter. They say it’s too early to tell how bad it is, but it looks like Brady’s going to spend most of 2008 getting fed grapes in bed by Gisele Bundchen… which is why we still hate him after this horrible, horrible injury. New England Patriots 17, Kansas City Chiefs 10 [Yahoo]
• MLB: Hey Hey, look who’s three games above .500 and 1.5 games ahead of number two in the NL West! The Dodgers! It looks like they’re not wasting no-money-down Manny Ramirez after all after a win against the Arizona Diamondbacks. Although there are still 20 games to go and the standings are a day-to-day see-saw—the type political pollsters get woodies about—so who knows? Dodgers 5, Diamondbacks 3 [ESPN]
• US Open: Serena Williams didn’t waste the win over her big sister, taking the US Open crown after beating Jelena Jankovic in Queens yesterday. The win will propel her to number one in the women’s ATP rankings coming out this week. Serena Williams over Jelena Jankovic, 6-4, 7-5 [NY Times]
Image [Boston.com]