Hey, have you heard about the “Big Bang Machine” that’s going to reenact the “Big Bang” all for reasons of science. NO?! Well, Wednesday marks the day when the Large Hadron Collider goes live and starts smashing atoms to replicate the moments during the creation of our universe. Oh, you missed that in bible study class? You should have paid attention. Unfortunately, many people, including bible readers, are really ticked about the whole thing because the end of the freakin’ world could occur if tiny black holes are created and left to gobble-gobble the earth. Yeah! We know! Nuts!

The machine at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, promises scientists a closer look at the makeup of matter, filling in gaps in knowledge or possibly reshaping theories.

The first beams of protons will be fired around the 17-mile tunnel to test the controlling strength of the world’s largest superconducting magnets.

It will still be about a month before beams traveling in opposite directions are brought together in collisions that some skeptics fear could create micro “black holes” and endanger the planet.

Just think of a nasty blackhead growing out of your forehead: it’s both gruesome AND catastrophic. But scientists have news for every skeptic out there: you’re a twit.

Britain’s Daily Telegraph reported last week that scientitst (sic) working on the collider had been receiving death threats, to which University of Manchester particle physicist and former rock star Brian Cox replied, “Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a tw**.”

Well, we don’t know enough about this nonsense to tell you what the deal is, but if you see flies flying backwards in your backyard, then you know you’ve got minutes before you’re sucked into a black hole.

‘Big Bang Machine’ Set to Start Up Wednesday [Fox News]
Image [FOX]