Are A-Rod and Madonna going to recreate those crappy Nescafe ads from the 80s where the guy next door comes over “for coffee” now that reports are that he’s buying a place next door to hers? Or are they going to recreate Billy Idol’s “Rock The Cradle Of Love” video, except that she’s the cradle robber now (how new-millennium!). As Madonna’s divorce from Guy Ritchie becomes more official and she moves away from the Rocknrolla director, the Yankee third baseman has decided to buy the four-bedroom penthouse next to hers because they are always thinking about each other and can’t stand to be apart. Well, that and Madonna was him to knock her up and change his religion to hers. But yeah, love’s in there somewhere.

‘Alex knows that this is a difficult time for Madonna, especially as she has children,’ a source said. ‘So he thought this was the best way to be close to her without being too intrusive. He is completely into her and willing to be patient while she sorts everything out.

‘All he cares about is just being close to her,’ a source added.

How close? How about this tidbit from when they started seeing each other.

[Us Magazine] reported that not only has A-Rod been making late-night visits to Madge’s Central Park West apartment, but he also was at her place soon after his wife, Cindy, gave birth to their second daughter.

[Madonna’s] friend said: ‘She thinks he’s physically a great specimen. And if she is going to have another child, he would be the ideal man to bring one to her.’

So next time he witnesses a child being born, it’s going to be coming out of Madonna, or he’s watching a really disgusting fetish flick. You know, we were going to say A-Rod reminded us a little of the Police song “Every Breathe You Take,” which while mostly taken as a love song, is about a crazed stalker because as we all know he is a bit of a star-fucker. But then we read this.

Rodriguez is in the final stages of sealing the deal on his lavish four-bedroom pad. The building is home to many stars, including Sting - who, ironically, introduced Guy Ritchie to Madonna in 1998.

Talk about worlds colliding. But this is a collision worthy of the Hadron Collider, creating a black hole that would suck up Midtown Manhattan with the only thing saving the rest of the world safe being the two huge egos of Madonna and A-Rod getting stuck before everything else gets sucked up.

REPORT: A-ROD LATE-NIGHT VISITS WITH MADONNA [NY Post]
Madonna wants to be pregnant [The Times]
A-Rod set to buy £40m New York pad next door to Madonna as relationship heats up [Daily Mail]
Image [Splash]