David Hall, the police chief of the posh town of Harrison, New York, clearly has no time for Isiah Thomas’ jibba jabba. Initial reports on Friday stated that Thomas, the former New York Knicks head coach and GM, required emergency medical treatment following an accidental overdose of sleeping pills. Hours later, Thomas and his family muddied the waters by claiming it was Thomas’ daughter, and not the Piston great, needed to be rushed to the hospital.

Since then, every story about Isiah’s medical mishap leads with accounts of “conflicting reports” about what happened Friday. Well, Hall is officially calling “bullshit” on Thomas. Not only is the chief angry that Thomas is using his daughter to cover his ass, he also resents the implication that his men can’t tell the difference between a grown ass man and a little girl. All that and a Nixon reference, people!

“It wasn’t his daughter,” Harrison Police Chief David Hall told The Associated Press. “And why they’re throwing her under the bus is beyond my ability to understand.”

Authorities were called early Friday to Thomas’ Westchester County home, where police said a 47-year-old man was taken to the hospital and treated for an overdose of sleeping pills. Several media outlets reported that police confirmed it was Thomas who went to the hospital.

But reached on his cell phone Friday, the 47-year-old NBA great told the New York Post he had not been treated for a sleeping pill overdose, and that it was 17-year-old daughter Lauren who had a medical issue.

It “wasn’t an overdose,: he told the newspaper. “My daughter is very down right now. None of us are OK.”

Hall forcefully refuted Thomas’ statement.

“My cops … know the difference between a 47-year-old black male and a young black female,” Hall said.

“These people should learn something from Richard Nixon - it’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up,” he added.

It’s really amazing how quickly the whole “conflicting reports” storyline took hold on this, despite the police reports and despite the only evidence that Thomas’ daughter was the victim here coming from Thomas himself. Gee, can anyone imagine why a major public figure like Thomas might not want to be linked to what some might think was a suicide attempt? Maybe he wants to work again, and being the “failed GM/coach who tried to off himself” probably doesn’t look so hot on the resume.

In related news, New York Newsday columnist John Jeansonne pissed in the media’s collective Cheerios yesterday, calling everyone out for its salacious coverage of the Thomas incident and the controversy surrounding New York Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain, who last week was picked up for drunk driving after leaving a strip club in Nebraska.

Chamberlain’s dumb deed, of driving (let alone speeding) when allegedly drunk, was both news and a public service announcement: Don’t do this. (The same of which could be said of Thomas, assuming we think we know what Thomas did, or why.)

But treating either episode as the October surprise in a heated election season - in more than one place, Chamberlain’s variously reported confrontations in a Nebraska strip club were described as his “Wild Night” - was indicative of another form of intoxication.

And not helpful to anybody.

Chamberlain drove drunk. Thomas is besmirching the records of the law enforcement community. But we’re the assholes.

Police chief says Isiah Thomas, not daughter, OD’d [AP/Houston Chronicle]
Media intoxicated with Joba and Isiah [Newsday]
Image [Sportsfrog]