If we were putting together a list of hack comics, we’d probably never think to include the top executive of an NBA team. That changes right now. Yesterday, Golden State Warriors President Robert Rowell spoke with an AP reporter about the need to change the name of Thunder, his team’s mascot, given the arrival of the Oklahoma City franchise (as heisted from Seattle) next season. They will be the Thunder, meaning that Golden State will have to put their own weather-based cheerleader out to pasture. Rather than just announce the inevitable “let the fans name the new mascot” contest, Rowell did his best Shecky Greene impression and unloaded a litany of corny jokes, some sports related, to explain Thunder’s “exit strategy.” Why they didn’t use the opportunity to get and name Warriors fan Jessica Alba as the team’s new mascot we’ll never understand. Maybe it’ll stop her from making Good Luck Chuck 2.

“The other thing we were thinking is maybe we trade him to Oklahoma City for a mascot to be named later or something like that,” Rowell cracked. “I know that Oklahoma City has already mentioned that their new mascot is in the works, so they’re not going to have one when the season starts.

“We may trade Thunder’s rights while he’s in China — though we’d have to go through NBA China to get approval on that. He may not get a ticket back with us, I don’t know. We haven’t figured it out.”

Rowell also mentioned that the team could just leave Thunder in China on their forthcoming trip to Asia, since there are so many people there he’d just get lost forever. Presumably, Rowell’s jokes about Thunder’s issues with airline peanuts, parking on a driveway and the conundrum of how hot dogs are sold in packs of ten while buns are sold in eight were cut by the editors.

Warriors plan ‘exit strategy’ for mascot named Thunder [USA Today]
Image [USA Today]