Playing high school football in Los Angeles, there was only one thing scarier than finding out the team you had to face started a major group of Polynesians on the front lines, and that was finding out the team were on steriods (and if was a combination of the two, you’d be wise to forfeit). So in football-loving Texas, the town of Euless lucked out when families of Tongan descent descended on the town because of its proximity to Dallas-Fort Worth airport where they worked. And they not only brought the recipes for chicken tikka masala with them, but their large and imposing brood that have brought their Trinity High School two state championships in the past three years. But the players have found it interesting having to explain their background for those not in the Euless know. Like how they’re not Mexican.

Each time he knocks a defensive lineman on his back, Uatakini Cocker, a 6-foot-2, 297-pound offensive tackle, screams: “Mate ma’a Tonga,” meaning, “I will die for Tonga.” Later, the playful Cocker said, he often has to explain his heritage to opposing players and fans in this typical postgame conversation:

“Are you Mexican?”

“Polynesian.”

“Samoan?”

“Tongan.”

“O.K., because you would be a very big Mexican.”

Ah, too bad these guys were already outed as really dumb Texans when the opened their moths.

Polynesian Pipeline Feeds a Football Titan [NY Times, via Hasta Los Gatos Quieren Zapatos]
Image [NY Times]