You know how fond Europeans are of poking fun at American beer? Given the results of this past weekend’s Great American Beer Festival, they have every right to laugh at us. If you were asked to pick the best light beer in the nation, one deserving of awards, how many beers would you name before you came to Coors Light? The judges at the festival couldn’t name any, and have named the Ol’ Silver Bullet the best American-style light lager in the United States of America.

Forget Europe, even Americans must be laughing at this pick. They are if they ever drank it.

MillerCoors added 14 medals to its trophy case this weekend at the Brewers Association’s annual Great American Beer Festival. The brewer’s 2008 total was more than fellow large brewers Anheuser-Busch, Pabst and Samuel Adams combined. Since 1996, including medals won as Miller Brewing Company and Coors Brewing Company, MillerCoors now has won 170 awards between both the Great American Beer Festival and the bi-annual World Beer Cup, three times more than any other large brewer.

“We knew when we brought together these two great breweries that we were creating the best portfolio in the U.S. beer industry,” said Dr. David Ryder, head brewmaster for MillerCoors. “Our performance at this weekend’s Great American Beer Festival reinforces that fact. With awards for brands ranging from craft to mainstream light to economy, our collection of beers has once again proven to be the finest in the business.”

The judges of the Great American Beer Festival have either lost their minds, or are playing a cruel joke on Coors Light, similar to when the cool kids stuffed the ballot box to name Carrie prom queen, only to laugh at her and douse her with pig blood when she hit the stage. If you need further proof that it might be crazy time in the judges’ booth, look at the other “award winning” light lagers that received the award. Old Milwaukee Light, more affectionately referred to as “Beast Light,” took home the silver, while Keystone Light won the bronze.

Listen, we’re not saying we are too good to drink any of these beers. In fact, we have a number of great experiences (high school parties, college drink-ups, tailgates) that have involved tons of Coors Light. But we never thought it was anything special, and we would have laughed at the concept of a gold medal for the Silver Bullet. People almost universally place the consistency of Coors Light on par with tap water, which makes it perfect to funnel or shotgun. That’s why people drink Coors Light: it is a watery beer conducive to heavy drinking. And let’s not get started on the only reason one drinks Beast or Keystone: price. For $5.99 a 12-pack, these selections let you look classier than the gentleman to your left with the Natty Light. Not very classy, but classier than him.

Laugh it up, Europe, with your tasty amber light beers. At least this year, we can’t even argue our superiority in the realm of barely and hops.

Banner Day for MillerCoors at 2008 Great American Beer Festival [PR Newswire]
Great American Beer Festival
Image [2old2play.com]