All kneel to Playboy’s Virgin María Florencia Onori in all her blessed naked beauty! Machochip has scored the pictures which depict the model as the Lady of Guadalupe for the December issue of Playboy Mexico. The issue which has already caused quite a stir among the Catholic Church in Mexico has sold over 80,000 copies since its release yesterday. Conveniently enough, today December 12 is the day Mexicans celebreate Our Lady of Gudalupe — the 16th century Roman Catholic icon from Mexico representing a Marian apparition. It is perhaps Mexico’s most popular religious and cultural image. Let’s check out the pictures (NSFW) of this apparition below the jump and see what all the controversy is about:

The Playboy piece starts with an incredibly cheesy anthem/prayer in adulation of María. Virgin María?!!! Yes! Its worth a read so we have translated for you:

María Florencia Onori

Bendita Seas

You are so adventurious María, when the light reaches your skin and your eyes find those of our readers. Blankets, flowers, bouquets, and stained glass: a playful game of light and shadow that deliver a renewed sensuality to our pages, witnesses of feminine grace where a stain does not fit, but the subtleness of a youthful body that radiates its beauty in a rug of petals. Yours are the hopes and the candor, yours the nakedness at the light of the candles, yours the crown with which December salutes you. Let it be.

And the pictures with Machochip’s interpretation of each:

“Is there a draft near the window? I am all perky!”

“Juan Diego! Yo-hoo! Up here!”

“Confess to me! There is an apparition in your pants right now isn’t there?”

“You can totally see María crowning”

“Wrapped in el cielo? No joke!”

“Is there a candle underneath that stand?”

“There was a draft near the window, this blanket will protect me…!!”

“Jose game me these pearls even though we are in a recession, he is such a buen muchacho that Joseee!”

“24 karat gold, baby!”

“I’m either swept away by God or facing a giant wind machine at a studio in Van Nuys.”

“Ugh. Woozy. I should really get that kid to stop turning water into wine.”

“Ok. muchachos, you really think this will get the whole deflower-a-virgin thing across?”

“Ok. for this take, we need you to moan to your right”

“Herbal Essence commercial: take 7”

“Ay Dios mío! Another crown photo.”

“Dios mío, do you really want me to lose this figure with your son?”

“Covering Up: You’re doing it wrong.”

“Mary models her anniversary gift from Joseph.”

“There’s no room at the inn. but, luckily, i scored these complimentary sheets.”

Video: Playboy Mexico Helps Christmas Come Early With Maria Florencia Onori Posing As The Virgin Mary. Or Just Mary [Guanabee]
Playboy Mexico Shows Naked PIctures of Virgin Maria Florencia Onori Just In Time For Our Lady Of Guadalupe Day [Machochip]
Our Lady of Guadalupe [Wikipedia]