Do Italians treasure flairs the way Mexican soccer fans treasure toilet paper? Yes. And this video proves it. Ronaldinho was presented to hundreds of fans yesterday and there’s evidence that flairs are always an Italian soccer celebration staple. Though,...

We bombarded you with news of Ronaldinho’s ever-expanding gut these last few weeks, but there’s actually some pertinent news about his career that has us betting quarters as to where he’ll end up this year. The latest is that...

It’s a gloomy day in Mexico City and this is what we found in our inbox not too long ago. This is a ghastly image we’re truly not used to from “El PhenomeNO.” Please stop him. Someone. Now. Brazilian...

It’s safe to say that the former is the greater loss. AC Milan stumbled during the last weekend of Serie A action and finished a dismal fifth, leaving them well out of Champions League contention for next year. That...

We’re going to beat this Ronaldo/Transvestite story like a trance-inducing drum because a) it’s dramatic b) jelloo, it’s Ronaldo and hookers with wangs and c) this story doesn’t want to die. Ronaldo’s vehemently denied there was any sexual intercourse...

It was only a matter of time (like 24 hours) until the bottom fell out of Ronaldo’s escapade that involved three transvestites. Today we learned the details of the pick-up artist at work, and now we’ve got word Ronaldo’s...

Andre Luis Ribeiro Albertino, seen here with Ronaldo’s car documents, is one of the three prostitutes that the AC Milan striker solicited in Rio this weekend. After seeing this photo, we’re convinced Ronaldo’s knee-injury from February severely impaired his...

We’re oblivious to the type of insurmountable shame necessary to voluntarily go to police after discovering prostitutes accompanying you have “franks and beans” stored in their panties. AC Milan’s Ronaldo (the fat one) discovered the prostitutes he hired, after...

We aren’t fans of Serie A for reasons that hardly need disclosure. So we’re ecstatic to report that Arsenal FC of the Thierry Henry-less variety, have just ousted reigning champions AC Milan 2-0 in the “last 16” stage of...

AC Milan’s Kaka signed a two year extension that will keep him at the San Siro until 2013. It’s a good thing Kaka didn’t take the bait from ol’ Reel Madrid. Gotta hand it to them Milliners for signing...

What’s the easiest way to stop the reigning Footballer of the Year from exasperating your defense? Fouls. A kick to the shin will stop anyone. If you’re lucky, (or Birmingham), you’ll even knock out the threatening player by shattering...

The Daily Mail is reporting that AC Milan forward “Pato” was on the radar of Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger back when the 18 year old was still sucking his thumb. Apparently, Wenger caught a wiff of the Brazilian when...

When Ronaldo went down last week, the flags went up about him joining MLS. What other league would wait for an out of shape phenom to get fit after total reconstructive knee surgery and pay him while doing so?...

Doctors from the land of fromage and Parkour reported Ronaldo’s surgery to be a “success” (if not killing him translates to success) and the Brazilian should be up and about in no time. No time, in this case, means...

The injury has been diagnosed as a severed tendon in his left knee, which basically translates into finito to his career. Ronaldo arrived in Paris today where he is to have surgery, but it’s unlikely he’ll return to the...

Three minutes. That’s how long AC Milan’s Ronaldo (the chubby, Brazilian one) was in the game yesterday against Livorno before his knee buckled underneath him and caused him to crumple to the ground like a sack of bricks, effectively...

Hey, at least they weren’t beer bottles, flares, or those £1 British coins. Those are heavy—and they hurt like hell when you chuck them from the stands. [YouTube] The New York Times has taken the time to evaluate—and consequentally...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Soccer Roundup African Cup of Nations: Late heroics save Tunisia, but what is more fascinating is that the game took place in a city named Tamale. Diouf was nowhere to be found. Tunisia2,...

Whas Happened In Sports This Weekend NFL Playoff Roundup NFC: We’re not even going to mention the Jessica Simpson factor when it comes to the Cowboys’ loss. No way. Not at all. You going back to Cabo this weekend,...

Ronaldo was spotted in Brazil this weekend livin’ la vida loca with Brazilian teammate and fellow headache Adriano. Ronaldo has been receiving treatment for a calf injury that has sidelined him for the last decade six months. The Brazilian...

Reports are circulating that alcoholic striker Adriano and fat man Ronaldo were seen partying at a pop concert in Rio this weekend. The duo were captured in photographs (which we are vehemently hunting down for your Christmas pleasure) with...

AC Milan have had it with Ronaldo’s bulging waistline and glass-man physique. The Brazilian striker hasn’t seen much playing time (only one game all season) in the Serie A this year due to lazy-itis and a malicious bout of...

Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo and AC Milan midfielder Kaká share a giggle during the FIFA World Player of the Year award ceremony: Kaká: Did you really have sex with hookers? Cristiano Ronaldo: Don’t believe everything you read in...

AC Milan’s Kaká better make some more room in his closet. The chosen one was chosen yet again and presented with the FIFA Player of the Year award yesterday to go along with his Ballon d’Or. And like for...

After all that crap about hatching a plan to stop Kaká last week, Boca Juniors put up the type of fight you would see between a bully and a blind kid. The one-sided affair was capped off by an...

The FIFA World Club Cup Final is set, with Boca Juniors of Argentina scheduled to face Italian giants AC Milan in Japan this weekend (Sunday: the buck-crack of dawn). There’s no question, the bad blood between the two teams...

AC Milan midfielder Kaká has definitely found an odd way to distance himself from rumors that he’s on the move from Milan. In an interview with Spanish newspaper Marca, Kaká revealed that he’s in no way ever leaving Milanilandia...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Uefa Champions League: Hey Eto’o! Welcome to the party. Stop picking fights with Ronaldinho. Now score! Barcelona 3, Stuttgart 1. [Sporting Life] NBA: Did the Sacramento Kings have Vlade Divac at center last...

Can you guess who? AC Milan midfielder, and reigning European Footballer Of The Year, Kaka has made it clear he’s going after Boca Juniors with the vigor of 1000 Brazilians. The Brazilian star made no qualms about reaffirming that...

AC Milan are getting ready for their semi-final clash against Japanese J-League side Urawa Reds in what will most likely be a bump in the road towards the World Club final against Boca Juniors. That’s what everyone expects. But,...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Uefa Champions League: When no one’s on the chopping block, why watch? Oh, right, Kaka. AC Milan beat Celtic 1-0, but both progress to the next round. [Uefa] NBA: Guess what? The Cleveland...

The talk of the town continues to circulate around whether FC Barcelona play maker Ronaldinho is on his way out to AC Milan or Chelsea FC during the winter transfer windows. He sat out during Barca’s clash with regional...

Matchday 5 of European Champions’ League clashes are about to start and we’re as hyped as that one time we waited five hours to see Rage Against The Machine. Well, it might not be that exciting since it’s merely...

Kaká’s woman, Caroline Celico, confirmed yesterday that she’s carrying her husbands first boy in her belly. “Yes, I am expecting a boy, and I am very happy,” Celico said. Ain’t that a relief. In five months we can expect...

This vid is from an Italian Serie A derby between Inter Milan and AC Milan. Can you guess which sports journalist is rooting for Inter? If sports announcers brought an ounce of this enthusiasm to the MLS, then we...

Kaká wasn’t too thrilled when media outlets all over the planet began to run his comments about possibly leaving Italian Serie A club AC Milan because of the recent violence. He’s been so ticked about all the coverage that...

European clubs are as enthusiastic about Latin American soccer players as Latin Americans are with, well, anything European, so it’s no surprise they’re looking West. Deportivo de la Coruña and Mexican winger Andrés Guardado has been in Europe for...

With reports coming in that Brazilian star and AC Milan badass Kaka may possibly take a permanent leave of absence from Italian soccer, Diego Lugano of Turkish club Fenerbahce is looking to trek across the European continent with the...

Kaká, Italy’s highest paid player, recently disclosed his concern over the latest episode of soccer violence in Italian football. It didn’t take too long for the Brazilian star to consider jumping ship and heading towards calmer waters—ahem, cue Madrid....

After the tragic shooting of a 26 year-old Italian soccer fan on Sunday, AC Milan superstar Kaká has voiced his concern that in the future, great players from around the world are going to steer clear from Italy. “All...

The demise of the first North American Soccer League can be attributed to three major factors: Pele, Franz Beckenbauer, and that one crazed Italian, Giorgio Chinaglia. Yeah these players enticed hoards of Americanos to indulge in the “beautiful game”,...

AC Milan are keen on revamping their aging defense next year and they’ve been linked to a possible attempted luring of Real Madrid defender Sergio Ramos. Former Milan manager Arrigo Sacchi commenced the smooth-talk by comparing Ramos to legendary...

We came across the November edition of England’s Esquire mag and smack on the cover was Brazilian star Kaká. When it comes to a supermodel’s life, the AC Milan star is taking steps to join the ranks of the...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night European Champions’ League: Liverpool 8, Besiktas 0. It was an amazing display of…wait…who the hell is Besiktas? Do it against someone we know and we’ll talk. [Goal] European Champions’ League: Real Madrid coach...

It’s that glorious time of the month again. Matchday 4 is rapidly approaching and we’ve got some pompous and blatant predictions as to who will kick the bucket and who will prosper this week during European Champions’ League action....

The rumor mill is churning on whether FC Barcelona scapegoat, Ronaldinho, is on his way out of the club. There’s been speculation for months about the Brazilians status. He was getting it in the rear from coach Frank Rijkaard...

El Gordo Ronaldo (of the gap-toothed Brazilian kind) has been diagnosed with hypothyroidism. This is devastating news to us devout taunters that feel we have the right to judge his fat ass. As fans, it is our duty to...