We have this notion that a soccer friendly involve just a couple of teams who want to work out some kinks in time for the real matches to begin. Ha! These are athletes we’re dealing with here, humans who...

Fifty-five year-old Brazilian surfer Rico De Souza rode a 30 foot surfboard for at least ten seconds Monday, breaking his own World Record set two years ago on November 17, 2006, when he rode a 26.42-foot board (25.6-feet by...

Talk about bookending your day. We opened up with tales of a young, strong and healthy Cristnano Ronaldo talking smack and wanting to take all comers. Now, we have sad news that the single-named Ronaldo—seen here in his faster...

Last April, when the more stoutly of the soccer-playing Ronaldos was found soliciting the services of Sao Paulo’s best and finest trannies, one Brazilian filmmaker had a vision. And that vision was to create a porno using the soccer...

Hey, you know what’s a huge waste of an astronaut’s time? Judging a contest where 11,200 people entered to see if theirs was the best butt in the world. But that’s where Italian cosmonaut Paolo Nespoli was, along with...

So remember those incredibly hot synchronized swimming sisters Bia and Branca Feres that we brought you during the Olympics? Wheter you do or not, go ahead. Take a gander… Well, now that you’re back it seems that they are...

Yesterday we brought you Robinho’s awesome topside goal against Venezuela in Brazil’s 4-0 win during their qualifying match. Today it’s time for us to show Kaka’s high volley into the top part of the net. You know, their record...

Well apparently that lull in Brazil’s qualifying matches is now over. After draws against Argentina and Bolivia and a loss to Paraguay, it seems the boys from Brazil are back. Adriano, Kaka and Robinho led a 4-0 rout of...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night MLB NLCS Game Three: You know what helps your pitcher calm down during a game? A first inning offensive explosion. That’s what the Dodgers’ Blake DeWitt was able to give his starter Hiroki...

Suelyn Medeiros came to our attention as one of many video vixens that have graced our television screens. However, the Brazilian beauty is just more than a pretty face and fabulous butt. The Brazilian-born (of course) model has also...

Brazilian soccer club Vasco de Gama is taking the initiative combating obesity on their team only seen in governmental agencies and overbearing mothers. Recently named coach Renato Portaluppi, their fifth of the year, has gone to the extreme end...

When Brazilian/Manchester City forward Robinho went to Chile to play the home country for a World Cup qualifier, he sensed a bit of a chill in the air. That’s because the Chileans weren’t falling over themselves singing the praises...

Cachaça is Brazil’s national drink with more than 396 million [Ed note: Suck it, blah.] gallons of it produced every year. It’s a sugarcane juice product that is not, and we repeat, not rum because of the manner in...

While most athlete blogs are full of excitement and intrigue about their gigantic pools or hot new ride (automotive or otherwise), Rafael Nadal’s blog during the US Open has opened our eyes into his days. And boy… are they...

Guanabee points us to a Brazilian publishing scandal by way of “actress” Carol Castro who has posed in Brazilian Playboy’s 33rd anniversary issue topless while holding a crucifix. (Which means, as Guanabee points out, that Jesus is topless, too.)...

There’s something wrong with a soccer club when they continue to justify a player’s worth by dismissing the player’s current status in exchange for marveling at his past feats. It’s like trying to pitch a movie studio a script...

Swedish soccer player Johanna Almgren was minded her own business at the Olympics when something out of a Star Wars trilogy came bustling towards her, eyes glazed over and panting. It was Brazil’s hefty star Ronaldinho and he had...

Jo Goal Brazilby Machochip What he knows is how to break the defensive line and race to a finish line. The line being a goal the likes we should seen during the Argentina match…at least to make it close, ya...

The Brazilian defense must have shat itself when their body-up strategy on Sergio Aguero managed to unsuccessfully stifle his progression. How were they supposed to know he didn’t need his legs or his head to score a goal? This...

Brazilian goalie Clemer goofed yesterday during Vasco V Internacional when he misjudged the bounce of a ball that was traveling no more than 2mph and kicked it into his own net. Saude! [The Spoiler] Some bloggers are completely perplexed...

Have you ever seen a more disheveled Brazilian team? A pudgy Ronaldinho and his club were absolutely pummeled by the speed and accuracy of each and every Argentine on the pitch today. After a silent first half, Argentina’s Sergio...

While other sites have been showcasing any nude boobie affiliated with the Olympics, we’ve been keen to isolate those Latina hotties competing in the most exciting games since Jesse Owens took four gold in 1936. Our newest addition came...

Oh do we love chilenas. The way a ball lunges out of the shadows to stun a goalkeeper unhinged from their place. Or the way the ball erupts from the air like a rocket jetting into space. Yeah, chilenas...

Meet Brazilian synchronized swimming twins Bia and Branca Feres. They were recently on the cover of VIP magazine and have been making a splash in the “really hot athletes we should watch at this year’s Olympics” category since blogs...

Just like a rapid pitbull, you’re really not supposed to taunt police officers in any way. Trust us, we were born and raised in Los Angeles and unless you want your ass tased or your cranium smashed in by...

Ah, it seems like it was just last year when Pele was trotting the globe to promote soccer, being told when to be honored and shit. Well, no more suckas. That was the old Pele, and he’s made enough...

Newly crowned Brazilian chubster Ronaldinho was out in Brazil doing some good charity work yesterday. He appeared for a charity indoor soccer match sponsored and organized by GRAAC, Group in Support of Teenagers and Children with Cancer. We don’t...

This past weekend, the Brazilian Olympic committee made some big news when they announced both Ronaldinho and Robinho would be joining the soccer team to help the nation of asses capture their first futbol gold medal. Well, the problem...

Brazilian street art has hit a mainstream Soho Gallery (Deitch Gallery) this month and we’re ticked about missing it. Os Gemeos (the twins) are a twin-couplet of brotherly love that has made it to the big time. Their mix-media...

He’s no free kick master, but Diego Souza helped his Palmeiras crew salvage a draw yesterday against a tough Atletico Mineiro. Although, we’re not sure if that post-goal somersault was intentional. Yet, it’s a better celebration any robot move...

It’s amazing how far rep gets you in soccer. Last week, when Ronaldinho played in a Venezuelan exhibition match, he showed that Ronaldo wasn’t the only soccer star who could develop a gut. But instead of shying away from...

We’re always particular to slightly pudgy athletes that defy the odds. We realize most of them play baseball because there’s really no other sport an athlete isn’t canned for being a fatass. Take Manny Ramirez for example. He’s hardly...

We caught the replay of this game yesterday and thought this was a magnificent strike by Flamengo’s Ibson. You know what else is magnificent? The music accompanying the sportscaster’s description of the play. Kind of gets you all tingly...

News outlets were duped when they reported on the sensationalist images of a “lost tribe” in Brazil. Actually, the photos were real, but the context was deliberately innacurate. A photographer has come clean, stating that he’d disclosed the photos...

Apparently no one is safe from getting robbed by roving bands of gangs in Brazil. Football’s G.O.A.T. Pele was heading out of Sao Paulo when 10 armed kids from a nearby favela overtook his car and robbed him of...

Because there really isn’t enough violence on Machochip today, we thought a new episode of Soccer Violence is exactly what you need on this Tuesday afternoon. Botafogo defender Andre Luis (pictured giving the bird) was shown a second yellow...

Julián de Guzmán’s equalizer instilled hope in all of Canada that there was a chance giant powerhouse Brazil would go down in Seattle. Too bad Julián’s compatriots playing defense decided a free pass for Robinho was necessary to eradicate...

VIA GUANABEE: They’ve found a lost tribe in the rainforest on the Brazil-Peru border who probably weren’t lost, but you know, just avoiding us. This is exciting because it means hippies can make an argument to stop deforestation in...

Firstly, how in the world did we miss posting this for so long? Secondly, tis’ pretty ain’t it? Nery Castillo is still sitting like a mangled duck in the marshlands of Manchester City, so glory of this sort is...

Let us honor Ronaldo’s day in the news with a record-breaking goal from the World Cup. See his expression? It’s passion rampantly running through his veins; it’s ecstasy personified; it’s a guy who owns his craft. Now he’s struggling...

If you lead your team to a World Cup title, like Brazilian legend Romario did in 1994, you’re free to talk a little smack. But like any good junkie will tell you, be careful with the smack you decide...

Carlos Alberto takes credit for the goal, but Brazil illustrate the quintessential beauty we all look for in soccer: teamwork. Plus, wait until the end of this clip for additional footage that helps solidify the idea that soccer fans...

Most sombreritos go directly over an opposing defender’s head, but not Marta’s move. She’ll flick it right around you and over the shoulder if you’re not careful. Can we get this player in a Galaxy jersey? More Machochip “Goal...

You’d think a professional soccer club with championship caliber players could maneuver their cooking staff into a deloused kitchen where the feijoada wouldn’t be contaminated with a gut-wrenching liver disease. Five Internacional players have succomb to a nasty bout...

The announcers are bemused by the fact that Brazil isn’t winning 3-0. We don’t speak Portuguese, but that’s what it sounds like. Thank goodness Sweden’s goalie is a goof ball and Pato’s a savvy youngster. Did you notice how...

Sports outlets like ESPN like to indulge in the aesthetics of perfection by constantly badgering us with “Classic Moments” in sports: Joe Louis knocking out Max Schmeling in the first round; Barbaro running the perfect race; or Nolan Ryan...

Zinedine Zidane landed in Sao Paulo airport with less than substantial fanfare. There were few journalists and even fewer fans, but Zidane was still excited about visiting the most skillful soccer country in the world. He made his way...

When it comes to women’s Brazilian football of the modern day, there’s only one name that echoes over all the others: Marta. That was the case until we came across vivaciously sexy Laisa Andioli. There isn’t much out there...

Adriano’s second chance at stardom is slowly fizzling at Sao Paolo after news broke out that the Brazilian club was consdering annulling Inter Milan’s loan agreement. It’s trite to state, but Adriano’s downhill spiral is a shame. Last week...

This young, busy-headed kid on the left is Philippe Coutinho, a 15-year-old player in Brazilian team Vasco da Gama’s system. But according to the team, Real Madrid is trying to change that, offering the young ‘un and his pop...