So Cristiano Ronaldo… what’s left to say? Sure he’s a brilliant player, but at what point do his brownie points for that wear out and leave us with a boludo who talks out of his ass more than he...

Revenge games are pretty sweet for athletes who’ve been chucked out like yesterday’s trash. This goes double if they’re a deciding factor in giving their team a win, or in the case of Geovanni heading back to Manchester City...

Now it’s time to play one of our favorite games that we’ve admittedly been breaking out a lot of lately—Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego…. David Beckham Golden Balls Edition. But unlike the past where we’ve just missed...

Whas happened in sports last night. NFL: Kurt Warner and his 50 year old bionic arm threw for three touchdowns as the Cardinals snatched a win out of San Francisco’s maw last night. It was the first time that...

When we heard what happened to model and girlfriend to a few EPL players Amy Leigh Barnes, we kinda got this creepy feeling we were watching Match Point again. The 19-year-old Barnes was stabbed several times and killed in...

It seems everyone wants a piece of the President-Elect these days, and England is no exception. Even though he shorted Prime Minister Gordon Brown with only 10 minutes on the phone while he gave French President Sarkozy half an...

One of the bigger offseason moves that Tottenham made was to bring Mexican striker Giovani Dos Santos over to White Hart Lane from Barcelona. But while Spurs have had a resurgence of sorts under their new coach Harry Redknapp,...

Carlos Tevez is not what you’d call a handsome man, or even completely Homo Sapien. But he’s going to have to keep his neanderthal wang in his pants if he wants to continue living at home with his wife...

Since soccer is “The World’s Game,” as it’s been called so many times, why should one language be the dominating tongue that dictates the ebb and flow of it? Two stories out of The Sun highlight the struggle two...

Whas happened in sports last night. NFL: In the four games since Tony Romo got the boo-boo on his pinky, Dallas has gone 0-4 and have been outscored by an average of 13 points a game. Worse than that,...

It’s been a pretty rough couple of months for Cristano Ronaldo. After a summer of speculation where he sauntered off to Sardinia with his now ex-girlfriend Nereida Gallardo as Manchester United and Real Madrid vied for his services, it...

Spurs fans were sure to add Aaron Lennon in their prayers last night one of the mainstays from Martin Jol’s squad sent in the equalizer in the 93rd minute to secure a tie with Arsenal. It secured a point...

Whas happened in sports last night. World Series Game Five… Continued: Well that was a weird ending to the 2008 MLB season. First the fifth and eventually deciding World Series game gets postponed due to rain, and then for...

Bulletin board material is nothing new in sports. Talking trash is the name of the game when you’re trying to get inside the head of your opponent. But Arsenal’s coach Arsne Wenger and star Cesc Fabregas went to the...

We’re not saying that Tottenham Spurs co-chairman Daniel Levy reads Machochip, but Juande Ramos was fired on Saturday, the day after we said the team had to. Sure, it’s akin to saying it’s a good idea to to put...

World Series Game Four: Word to the Tampa Bay Rays—if you want to win a World Series game, it’s probably best not to let the 1-8 hitters in the Phillies lineup go up during the first inning. That’s what...

With all the Presidential endorsements getting published nowadays, we thought we’d go a different way. We’re going to take this space and actually rail against someone to lose their job. We think the leadership has gotten a little stale...

The Ballon d’Or is given out every year to the person who performed the best the season before. It’s all about performance, and nowhere on the award does it say “nicest” “most humble” or even “guy you wouldn’t mind...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Champions League: Juventus hadn’t won a game in a month and Real Madrid was coming off an unbeaten streak of eight matches. Well, that’s why they play the games, as the Italians used...

If you’re not going for the ball while trying to tackle Robinho going in for the score, and you know you’re going to get carded… make it count. Because if you give a player of his caliber a the...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night MLB ALCS Game Seven: Last night ended ten years of futility in Tampa Bay as the Rays beat the Red Sox to advance to the World Series. Not only had they never even...

The economy is hitting the whole world hard, especially the sporting world. The Lakers can’t even draw in the bored gambling crowds in Vegas for a pre-season game, the NBA’s—and most leagues—version of free money. So how do you...

The San Jose Earthquakes, and their ownership led by the Oakland A’s GM Billy Beane, have decided to make a move more puzzling than our decision to buy stocks last week (we were sure they’d go no lower!). They’ve...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night CONCAF: Dwayne De Rosario was the Houston Dynamo’s savior last night in their CONCAF Champion’s League match against Panamanian side San Fransisco FC. He entered in the 78th minute, only to knock in...

To paraphrase Eddie Murphy in Coming To America, this Steven Gerrard goal in Champions League play is “pretty… oh so pretty.” The replay of the ball going through the air is so Matrix, we half expected the Eindhoven keeper...

We may have a beat on why Cristiano Ronaldo has to occasionally visit ladies of the night. His fascination with little shorts (and, well, himself) has seemingly been a turn-off for women who like to show more leg than...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night MLB: It took them 12 innings, but the LA Angels stopped the bleeding against the Boston Red Sox last night. Erick Aybar hit a single in the top of that frame to knock...

In a wonderful mix of Lee Elia’s Cubs rant (so fitting today) and Mike Gundy’s Oklahoma State rant (“I’m a man! I’m 40!”), comes this obscenity-laced tirade from Newcastle manager Joe Kinnear. It’s long, and it’s bleeped, but there...

Oh Facebook, look what you’ve done. The large gentleman pictured here on the left is rugby player Phil McCaw. Phil’s mad at his ex-girlfriend Aymee because when they went to Cuba on vacation this past summer, she had a...

When the start of the EPL season rolled around, a lot of people (like us) were wondering if Tottenham were going to be as good as they seemed on-paper with new signings like Giovani Dos Santos and Roman Pavlyuchenko....

Imagine being the British tow guy who had to pick up Wayne Rooney and his wife Colleen after their car died yesterday. Sure, it’s a stressful situation for anyone to be in, but you had two combustible factors at...

Oh EPL, you’re so silly. You have the league with the highest paid players in the world (thanks, Euro notes and Dubai investors!) and then some of the rowdiest fans (Italy has you beat there, England). So when you...

We’ve always been attracted to the rough play in the Premiership. Even though you can find us glued to any La Liga or FMF clash over any given weekend, the diving antics and flops usually get under our skin....

It’s no secret that Cristano Ronaldo’s love trysts involve hookers, in one way or another. But what would happen if CR7 was dating a hooker… for free? That seems to be the pickle he’s in with Fernanda, the English...

As Cristiano Ronaldo well knows, ankles are important for a lot of things like scoring goals and running away from Lauren Conrad. So with his post-ankle surgery ready to get tested this weekend by Chelsea (in his first EPL...

As the financial world collapsed yesterday, we were reading furiously about what’s going to happen to the $1,285.21 in our 401(K). And the fact the insurer AIG was among the top names bandied about needing a lifevest from the...

Dimitar Berbatov’s departure to Manchester United from Tottenham last month sent shockwaves through the league. Not so much because of the trade itself, but the fact that it actually got done. Seriously, it took all of the offseason and...

Even though it happens too far and in between, it’s nice to see a player make a commitment to something more important than themselves. And to something really, really far away… like Guatemala far. That’s the case with Manchester...

Now we’ve heard it all. Kevin Ashley, the billionaire owner of EPL’s Newcastle Magpies, might be in trouble with the law because he was drinking a beer during his team’s 3-0 defeat at Arsenal this past weekend. Apparently the...

Bernardo Corradi might be playing in Italy right now, but this goal he scored for Manchester City against Portsmouth last year will always live in our hearts. He performs a 3x Hadouken/All You Can combo from Street Fighter 3...

Oh cheerleaders, when will you learn to dodge balls coming right to your face? Or maybe this is something fetishized in Germany? Honestly we never know with der Berliners. [YouTube, via fourfourtwo]...

Puppet Jose Mourinho has come back to Setanta to kick his brand of Portuguese knowledge. This time, he brings us a special video to help the poor, unfortunate Dimitar Berbatovs out there who need a home. Help, and you...

Dimitar Berbatov—currently of the Tottenham Hotspur Berbatovs—has caused an uproar in North London. Yesterday, while traveling with his Bulgarian national teammates to Bosnia for a match, the increasingly in-demand striker decided to sign a fan’s jersey—a Red Devil’s kit—and...

David Beckham is the biggest soccer player in the world, so if there’s anyone that could be the focus of a musical that brings in Mamma Mia! type numbers, it’d be him. That’s why this week talks are underway...

It took four touches to get Samir Nasri, the 21 year old French-Algerian international, his first Premiership goal yesterday in Arsenal’s 1-0 victory against West Brom. This will obviously lead Arsenal fans to crown him as the greatest thing...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night EPL: Luiz Felipe Scolari starts his ambitious time frame for Chelsea’s take over of Man U’s crown right, as goals from Joe Cole, Deco, Nicolas Anelka and Frankie Lampard lead to a lambasting...

Those of us who have gripes with the owners of our favorite teams have nothing on the poor suckers who follow the EPL’s Manchester City club. That’s because their boss, the former Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, has had...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Soccer: No Cristiano, no Dimitar, no worries? That’s not what the Man U faithful are saying as the Red Devils drew against Juventus yesterday at home. Something tells us they’re going to get...

Every telenovela has to end some time. That’s right, they don’t go on forever like “Days Of Our Lives.” They always end. Some end badly and some end triumphantly, leaving onlookers pumping their fist and screaming “orale!” at their...

In a statement he was sure to make after signing a fat ol’ contract with Chelsea, Big Phil Scolari (last seen smacking a guy, video below) declared that Manchester United will be kings of the EPL forever! Well not...