The Florida Marlins’ season was built on a lot of promise, and that promise took a lot to bring down. Like half a season long’s worth. But even though the fans never showed up and the team kept on...

They’ve tried fat guys dancing and their manager meeting face-to-face with the fans. But apparently that’s not enough to bring the scant few fans of the Florida Marlins to the game. Yesterday must’ve set some non-disaster record for low...

While the fans of the Matamoros, Mexico Little League team that were one win away from the championship were saddened by their loss to Hawaii, one fan wasn’t. Marlins’ third baseman and Mexican national team player Jorge Cantu is...

So if you haven’t noticed, what with the flurry of trade chatter on the wire, the MLB trading deadline is today at four EST (right before Jude Judy!). While we have one big trade essentially done (Ken Griffey, Jr....

Pity Luis Gonzalez. The 18-year MLB veteran has been one of the main leaders on the surprising Florida Marlins club that is first in the NL East, in front of teams that spend 20-times they do like the Mets....

Sure, some people may say Alex Rodriguez isn’t the brightest bulb burning, but what do they know? They’re poor! Well, at least players for the Florida Marlins, whose entire opening day roster will make seven million dollars less that...

It’s no secret that the Florida Marlins have a little trouble bringing in the fans. But when they announced that they’d be starting a cheering squad made up of chunky but funky male dancers, we thought it was fun...

The Florida Marlins have turned into the Bad News Bears as of late. Besides looking for fat dudes to don their sexiest cheerleading attire, the Marlins should be looking out for a reliable starter after Sergio Mitre, in his...

If TV has taught us anything, finding fat people in Miami is damn near impossible. From what we understand, everyone there’s either a thin model, thin drug kingpin, thin crooked cop or thin cop just trying to do what’s...

We hope this trip to the local San Antonio Target is an attempt by Tony Parker and Eva Longoria to make it seem like everything’s normal after their… um… recent difficulties. But guess what, ParkOria, there aren’t any paparazzi...

Maybe trading away Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis wasn’t such a great idea. This past weekend, the Florida Marlins opened up Dolphin Stadium for their “Select A Seat” day, but less than fifty fans showed up to pick out...

We posted earlier that Miguel Cabrera is about to trade a cold-blooded spearfish logo for a something in between “Tony The Tiger” and a six year old’s drawing of a tiger. The Detroit Tigers are moments away from landing...

Hey, remember the fat dude, a.k.a. Miguel Cabrera, we were talking about earlier today? MLB.com is reporting he’s about to be swapped by the Florida Marlins to the Detroit Tigers for six players. They threw in pitcher Dontrelle Willis...

In baseball, you can be chubby. Hell, you can be on the fringe of obesity and still hit .364. Milwaukee Brewers player Prince Fielder is a butterball, but he can hit a baseball a half-mile. San Francisco Giants catcher...

Miguel Cabrera is leaving the Florida Marlins… to make room for Alex Rodriguez? Considering Rodriguez made as much as the entire Marlins roster last year, it seems unlikely. [Palm Beach Post] The knucklehead who brushed AC Milan goalie Dida...

And we thought the most fun we could have at the supermarket was redeeming coupons. [The Beautiful Game] Chivas USA goalkeeper Brad Guzan has taken the prize for the MLS’ best goalkeeper, allowing only 28 goals the entire season....

We always thought that putting a baseball team in Miami was just a bad idea. Braving the humidity and giant flying cockroaches for three hours doesn’t sound too appealing to us. It turns out that Miamians feel the same...