Hustle is the primary reason why we didn’t make the cut for our high school football team. It’s the reason we escaped a near-mugging in Morocco and it’s the only thing that keeps us blogging for twelve hours a...

Imagine all the people that will receive this headline on their RSS feeds. “Fuck man! Where the hell is Deco? And why are they attacking Iran?!” Since we’re now t-minus two years away from World Cup action, we thought...

We witnessed this goal for the first time today and enjoyed it wholeheartedly. It’s always a treat to see a goalkeeper made a fool of for playing away from his line and underestimating the capability of a determined midfielder....

The sole goal from the Euro final between Germany and Spain was a demonstration in perseverance and pwnership by Spain’s Fernando Torres. Pay attention to the moment Philip Lahm realizes he’s being overtaken by a bolt of lightning. Priceless...

Russia’s defense was paltry at best and non-existent at worst. Unlike the Germans and Turks providing us with exciting soccer (even though we missed half of it due to a blackout), the Russians denied us an encore of their...

We thought this goal was a replay when we initially saw it because the “power” had just returned and the sportscasters were surprised that Turkey had equalized. We’re profiling it here because we think it’s still quite a feat...

That gangsta of a striker Nihat Kahveci is going to be missed dearly today. He suffered a thigh injury after that amazing comeback against Croatia and is single-handedly accredited with saving Turkey from elimination gainst the Czech Republic a...

We caught the replay of this game yesterday and thought this was a magnificent strike by Flamengo’s Ibson. You know what else is magnificent? The music accompanying the sportscaster’s description of the play. Kind of gets you all tingly...

Russia had no intentions of being sent home this weekend. Yet, after a magnificent second half goal, the Russians found themselves in extra time against a Dutch team that performed extremely well during group stages. Good thing the knockout...

This was the moment that should have sparked a Turkey-esque comeback from the Portuguese. Nani began creating more space on the left side and the Germans were drifting farther away from their lines. This is the moment Cristiano should...

People always talk about the way Brazil incorporates samba into their style of play through fluidity, creativity and energy. If you wait for the aerial shot of this goal, you’ll see that Russia plays in a manner similar to...

With this fearless strike, Robin Van Persie guaranteed an early exit for a Romanian team that had to battle through the signature “Group of Death.” And after watching the Dutch play games one and two, there was no real...

Michael Ballack was ecstatic about his national team’s victory against Austria yesterday. He was a few words short of calling Austria a bunch of cocky dickheads, but we knew what he was talking about when he stated “they were...

Nihat Kahveci scored two goals in as many minutes, launching Turkey to it’s second quarterfinals in their trivial Euro history. This late strike realized the worst fears for Czech fans. It’s a magnificent goal, and it’s sure to raise...

The movement of the ball, precision and determination turned us on to this video. Portugal’s Deco is, without a doubt, a top ten midfielder in the world and this display exemplifies his talent for recognizing the ball in difficult...

David Villa scored the first hat-trick in a Euro Cup competition since some Yugoslav did it in 2000. The first and third goals were great, but the second goal (shown above) is what great talent can produce when almost...

Ruud Van Nistelrooy’s first half strike had controversy draped all over it, but Wesley Sneijder’s strike five minutes later exposed the Italians faulty defense. We’re not really sure a healthy Fabio Cannavaro would have inhibited Sneijder’s shot because, frankly,...

The one touch pass is probably the most enthralling of all the passes in soccer. For one, it’s prettier than the illustrious English long pass. Sure Beckham’s pecision is amazing, but that style doesn’t inspire us. There’s the Brazilian...

Make no mistake that Juan Pablo Angel will be analyzed, criticized, admired, hated and revered as the saving grace for the New York Red Bulls once Jozy Altidore departs for Recreativo Huelva Villareal. (More on Recreativo in a bit.)...

By our count, Xavi Alonso took out five defenders—including the goalie—to score this goal. Somehow, we imagine that he could have sliced through the entire team to get this done because the initial move that freed him up was...

We’re not sure exactly where this goal took place, or for what team, but it looks like a French second division clash of some kind. Even though this is first league stuff, the goal denotes mad skill. Oh, and...

We’re not sure why we ended up marveled by this goal today. Maybe it’s because we’re moving to Mexico City in two weeks, (but it doesn’t mean we’re going to become America fans). Maybe it’s because the FMF is...

Julián de Guzmán’s equalizer instilled hope in all of Canada that there was a chance giant powerhouse Brazil would go down in Seattle. Too bad Julián’s compatriots playing defense decided a free pass for Robinho was necessary to eradicate...

USA’s national soccer team was expecting to stun England on their home turf, but the direct opposite happened. And it all started with this brilliant header from John Terry. Sure the guy likes to spit blazing hot loogies at...

There’s no excuse for LDU de Quito’s defender allowing Enrique Esqueda to climb through the air like howler monkey. Seriously, dig an elbow into the guy’s rib and he’ll barely rise an inch. Or, step on his toes before...

This goal is impressive because anyone with a lesser pedigree would’ve tensed up and possibly had a chance at goal. David Beckham, on the other hand, has been doing this for years. Yet, the ball didn’t dribble into the...

That’s a lovely first name, isn’t it? Since it’s Friday, and we’ve been scouring the net for a goal that will excavate any sort of appreciation from you, we’re going to settle with this one because it’s all sunny...

We should really change that headline to “GoalS Of The Day”, but you don’t care. This is Martin Palermo singlehandedly thrashing the life out of Mexican club Atlas. The first goal wasn’t impressive considering Atlas’ goalkeeper is a moron....

We’re about four hours away from the Champions League final kick-off and we thought a bit of nostalgia would rattle your passions. In 1999, Manchester United was down 1-0 for a total of 90 minutes and 36 seconds until...

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is the ruthless contributor to ligament damage in ankles and the escalating percentage of hip replacements in Europe. Seriously, moves like this could kill. More Machochip “Goal Of The Day” here. Video [YouTube]...

If you can’t see the ball for more than a second, and it seems to have traveled faster than the speed of sound, then you know you’ve come across a special goal. Even the goalie is wondering what buzzed...

Fridays are usually exceptional because it’s the last day of the work week, unless you’re us and have to work weekends at times because we don’t have a weekend contributor. Hint, hint. Today is also an exceptional Friday because...

It took us forever to get this clip for you guys so you better appreciate it. Actually, it was well worth it as Omar Flores introduced us to a phrase we hadn’t heard in quite sometime: la Palomita. Hey,...

Firstly, how in the world did we miss posting this for so long? Secondly, tis’ pretty ain’t it? Nery Castillo is still sitting like a mangled duck in the marshlands of Manchester City, so glory of this sort is...

Stefan Gislason’s wonderful strike makes the cut today because he captured lightning in a bottle. Try this strike on your own and you’ll end up like an emo kid splattered on asphalt. More Machochip “Goal Of The Day” here....

The open space, the brilliant pass and the classic finish by Ryan Giggs culminated in a tenth title for Manchester United in 16 years. The extraordinary thing about this goal is that Cristiano Ronaldo isn’t the one scoring. Also,...

We don’t correlate stealth with Chicago Fire’s Cuauhtemoc Blanco. His style of play revolves around taking advantage of less-refined player’s mistakes. He also dives a lot. But, he can still drive 30 yard strikes with precision. And we hated...

Zinedine Zidane’s legacy will forever be linked to his infamous head butt at the 2006 World Cup, but his career was hardly marred. Somehow we ended up perusing his videos today, our [Ed note: Alejandro turns 27 today. Hi.]...

Real Madrid were crowned La Liga champions last weekend when they managed to come from behind against Osasuna and scored two blistering goals in the final four minutes of the game. Gonzalo Higuain’s goal was the culmination of a...

There’s no need to expound upon the brilliance of this goal. What needs addressing is Eric Wynalda’s call on this. It’s about as anti-climactic as you can get, festering somewhere between Arena football announcing and giant rat shrieking while...

That’s what they call “breaking his ankles.” Cristiano Ronaldo reached the extraordinary tally of 40 goals in one season when he ripped West Ham United’s defense to shreds. Thankfully for us soccer fans, he’s got two more games to...

Ryan Babel’s 117th minute strike against Chelsea was a proclamation of hope. The Liverpool fans at the pub we were at became wide-eyed, invigorated at the possibility their team might actually slay the dragon of mediocrity this season, and...

Didier Drogba’s left foot is about as reliable a resource as binoculars are to a blind person. But his right foot is a completely different story. Just ask Pepe Reina. His stubble on the top of his head was...

Cristiano Ronaldo isn’t the only back-heel magician out there. Bruno Marioni’s quick reflex and sheer luck talent summoned the goal Gods to bestow him a wonderful gift. That gift was a spectacular back-heel goal that gave Atlas a 1-0...

Let us honor Ronaldo’s day in the news with a record-breaking goal from the World Cup. See his expression? It’s passion rampantly running through his veins; it’s ecstasy personified; it’s a guy who owns his craft. Now he’s struggling...

We just spent the last hungover hour trying to upload this stinkin’ video for ya’ll so ya betta apprechiate it. Marcos Senna stunted celebrations in Madrid with this 50 yard strike against Real Betis and it’s a bea-u-ty. However,...

Roberto Carlos’ strike is breathtaking, but there’s nothing like the goalscorer’s humble glance to the fans with a sarcastically unpretentious gesture. “Oh. Did I score that goal? Woes me.” We blame it on the dingy uniforms. More Machochip “Goal...

The name Yuri Zhirkov sounds more like Keyser Söze’s main hit man in “The Usual Suspects,” but, in fact, he’s a 24 year old Russian left winger who plays for CSKA Moscow and the Russian national team. He’s also...

We can’t count how many times we’ve whiffed while trying to get a shot on goal. This is why we’re not professional soccer players, but Liverpool’s Dirk Kuyt is. Yeah, there’s keeper error involved (You’re supposed to make yourself...

Who needs Ronaldinho, or Deco to run the middle when you have Andres Iniesta? If there is salvation for Barcelona’s dismal season, it’s in the midfield-cutting prowess of the youngster. He’s in the starting lineup for today’s tomorrow’s [Ed...