It’s no secret that Cristano Ronaldo’s love trysts involve hookers, in one way or another. But what would happen if CR7 was dating a hooker… for free? That seems to be the pickle he’s in with Fernanda, the English...

Are you guys sick of traveling to exotic destinations, only to have your ugly mug repelled by every bikini-dressed beau that walks passed ya? Are you going home having to lie about how many girls you hooked up with?...

The Ronaldo transvestite saga has officially come to a close with every one of them penis-weilding transvestites confessing that there was neither sex, nor were there drugs, involved in the escapades that ruined Ronaldo’s marketing appeal. What stands is...

We’re going to beat this Ronaldo/Transvestite story like a trance-inducing drum because a) it’s dramatic b) jelloo, it’s Ronaldo and hookers with wangs and c) this story doesn’t want to die. Ronaldo’s vehemently denied there was any sexual intercourse...

Ronaldo is in complete denial. Yesterday we reported that he was on the verge of losing his lifetime contract with Vietnamese sweatshop entrepreneur Nike because of that transvestite thing. Pained with the reality that he might be homeless and...

It was only a matter of time (like 24 hours) until the bottom fell out of Ronaldo’s escapade that involved three transvestites. Today we learned the details of the pick-up artist at work, and now we’ve got word Ronaldo’s...

AC Milan striker Ronaldo was quick to pronounce yesterday that he did solicit three prostitutes that turned out to be transvestites, but he’s gone into hiding since the fiasco, canceling two scheduled television appearances and taking hospice at a...

Andre Luis Ribeiro Albertino, seen here with Ronaldo’s car documents, is one of the three prostitutes that the AC Milan striker solicited in Rio this weekend. After seeing this photo, we’re convinced Ronaldo’s knee-injury from February severely impaired his...

We’re oblivious to the type of insurmountable shame necessary to voluntarily go to police after discovering prostitutes accompanying you have “franks and beans” stored in their panties. AC Milan’s Ronaldo (the fat one) discovered the prostitutes he hired, after...

We knew we’d be dragged into ex-Governor Eliot Spitzer’s hooker fest someway and minor league baseball team Macon Music granted us an avenue. The club is sponsoring an Eliot Spitzer night, reminding us that minor league baseball can get...

Firsly, the interviewer should know that Sir Alex hates foreigners. Besides that, he probably should have reviewed some questions. Strike that. He probably should have brainstormed about what to ask: “How was your flight? Long? First time in Saudi...

Much like the swans returning to Capistrano, hookers’ nationwide are currently tuning their homing beacons to the site of the Super Bowl. Considering that even the nose bleeds cost upwards of $500, why not? The men willing to shell...

It turns out Cristiano Ronaldo has a joint checking account with his mom. Not only that, but she gives the green light for all his purchases, from the smallest bottle of hair gel to the fastest Ferrari. We don’t...

Cristiano Ronaldo and newly acquired Manchester United player Anderson were caught with five hookers from Leeds. Leeds? We’ve never understood athletes paying for sex. What’s the point of being a professional athlete if you can’t get any tail? If...