It seems that Carlos Tevez is pretty sad. Crowd: How sad is he? He’s so sad, that when Diego Maradona came to talk to him about playing for the Argentine national team, all the forwrd could talk about was...

We’ve been fiddling around with the new FIFA 09 for the past week (review coming tomorrow!), and it really shows how hard it is to get a 25-30 foot shot curling into the net in. And that’s electronically (God...

While this is far from the prettiest goal of the day (which, we may remind you, is not the point of this post), this caught our eye because it has two masters at work. Henry’s slowing down (admit it,...

It’s been a pretty rough couple of months for Cristano Ronaldo. After a summer of speculation where he sauntered off to Sardinia with his now ex-girlfriend Nereida Gallardo as Manchester United and Real Madrid vied for his services, it...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night MLB: It took them 12 innings, but the LA Angels stopped the bleeding against the Boston Red Sox last night. Erick Aybar hit a single in the top of that frame to knock...

We’ve never gotten used to Thierry Henry in the jester-like stripes of FC Barcelona. Be it known that we grew fond of him as a Gunner and we thought he’d end up a Gunner for life. But we wished...

Real Madrid suffered a first week loss and then came out of the blocks firing, but managed to scare the shiz out of every “Ultra Sur” fan after allowing Numancia to score three goals against them, including this wonder-strike...

Javier Clemente is the most honest man in the history of the universe. And he’s also probably a nut job. Sure we’ve had our fair share of insults over our 12-month tenure at this here site, but we don’t...

Besides worldwide recognition for being the fastest man on the planet, Usain Bolt has some other perks we’re a bit envious of. The Jamaican sensation has been invited by Spanish La Liga giants Real Madrid to help players increase...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night College Football: A 42-yard field-goal was the difference for the UCLA Bruins as they stunned the 18th-ranked Tennessee Volunteers in overtime at the Rose Bowl. Third string quarterback Kevin Craft overcame four first...

What in the world is Carlos Tevez doing? Does he hate Cristiano Ronaldo that much that he’s openly supporting Cristiano Ronaldo’s need for a change of scenery via Madrid? We wonder what kind of tift these two had because...

Going over to Spain and experiencing the siesta culture firsthand can be a little disorientating. This goes double for an 18-year-old kid like Jozy Altidore, who has found life with his new Villareal team (including midday naps) a lot...

It seems that Wimbledon champ Rafael Nadal and Cristiano Ronaldo have a bigger link than just hot girlfriends. Nadal is a huge Real Madrid fan, and after he won Wimbledon, he ran into Real president Ramon Calderon where the...

This past weekend, the Brazilian Olympic committee made some big news when they announced both Ronaldinho and Robinho would be joining the soccer team to help the nation of asses capture their first futbol gold medal. Well, the problem...

That gangsta of a striker Nihat Kahveci is going to be missed dearly today. He suffered a thigh injury after that amazing comeback against Croatia and is single-handedly accredited with saving Turkey from elimination gainst the Czech Republic a...

Barcelona’s new coach is wasting no time ruffling the feathers of a team that once reigned as European champions and domestic champions in the same. Pep Guardiola disclosed today that the trio consisting of Samuel Eto’o, Ronaldiho and Deco—a...

A giant sigh of relief passed over Machochip HQ when we read that Jozy Altidore was going to definitely stay at Villareal next season, instead of being loaned out to Recreativo Huelva. Villarreal look set to go back on...

Whatever it was that made us proud that Jozy Altidore was going to Spain and wreck shop in La Liga has taken a bit of a hit. Villareal, the team that will be paying a $10 million transfer fee...

There was a reason why Jozy Altidore tried to dispel rumors that Real Madrid were on his heels last year. That’s because they probably weren’t, but a certain Spanish semi-sometimes-does-well-powerhouse was definitely interested in the 18 year old and...

We’ve stumbled upon some other stories that may fancy your sense of humor this morning, but Omar Bravo’s transfer to Deportivo La Coruña left us puzzled and seeking refuge via downing a Tecate at 9am. What the hell is...

Just as iconic as the Loch Ness monster, and as mythical as Sasquatch, “El Maletín” in Spanish soccer is one of the most talked about myths in sports. There are stories throughout La Liga’s history of clubs such as...

We want every New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox fan to pucker up their ears: the biggest rivalry in the world isn’t between your two teams. It’s between Real Madrid and Barcelona. And they clashed yesterday at Real...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night La Liga: Since Real Madrid were already crowned champions, El Clasico didn’t carry much of the flair from years past, but the allure of seeing Lionel Messi V Raul and Henry V Marcelo...

Real Madrid were crowned La Liga champions last weekend when they managed to come from behind against Osasuna and scored two blistering goals in the final four minutes of the game. Gonzalo Higuain’s goal was the culmination of a...

Our friends at The Spoiler tipped us about a soccer story full of deceit, mystery and sex shock. And it’s not about Nereida Gallardo. It turns out that Barcelona midfielder Ronaldinho underwent a secret physical examination at the Delfos...

We just spent the last hungover hour trying to upload this stinkin’ video for ya’ll so ya betta apprechiate it. Marcos Senna stunted celebrations in Madrid with this 50 yard strike against Real Betis and it’s a bea-u-ty. However,...

FC Barcelona striker Samuel Eto’o is threatening his club with abandoning ship if they don’t find a way to win some silverware this year. Don’t walk the plank, man! Eto’o is locked up with the club until 2011, but...

A Spanish newspaper, which we’ve been feverishly looking for sans luck, sent one of their greasy haired interns to Photoshop an image that contained an advertisement for a rival publication. (Enlarge picture.) Um, the poor guy ended up cloning...

We thought we’d seen it all after the raucous in Colombian soccer last week, but Spanish sports fans—constantly reminding us of their progressive ways—marred a soccer match this weekend between Real Betis and Bilbao when Bilbao goalkeeper Armando was...

It’s every die-hard fan’s dream: dedicate your death to that pitiful team you cheered for your entire life. We hear of fans who are buried in jerseys. Some take their autographed memorabilia to the grave. Others want their ashes...

Barcelona did what they were supposed to do last night by beating Celtic FC 1-0 and progressing to the quarterfinals of the Champions League. However, there was a lot of hype about whether coach Frank Rijkaard would start a...

Samuel Eto’o scored a hat-trick this past weekend and he decided to commemorate his final goal with a new goal celebration: stealing a photographer’s expensive ass camera and taking pictures of his teammates. If we were that photographer, we’d...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night La Liga: An eight point lead in the tables vanishes quickly when you suck the last two weekends, or when the referees want to cheat you. Real Madrid 0, Getafe 1. [IHT] NBA:...

Whas Happened In Sports This Weekend La Liga: Real Madrid aim to solidify a cycle for the rest of the year: win big, lose pitifully. Real Betis 2, Real Madrid 1. [Sporting Life] FA Cup: We know what the...

Diego Milito wants to get the hell out of Real Zaragoza. At least, that’s what he implied this week when he revealed his disgruntled mood with a buyout clause that could keep him in Spain for the duration of...

Whas Happened In Sports This Weekend La Liga: How many adjectives can you think of that would describe Real Madrid’s drubbing of Valladolid? Real Madrid 7, Valladolid 0. [CNN] African Cup of Nations: Egypt is crowned the best in...

Luis Figo is now old, ready for retirement and straining to come back from a brutal leg injury he suffered last November. But back in 2002, he was lighting up Real Madrid’s offense with gorgeous crosses and beautiful lofts...

Open caption for your creative pleasure. Please, don’t ever leave me, Henry. Image [Getty]...

Why Diego Milito isn’t consistently playing with a Champions League caliber team, or donning the threads of his national team (Argentina) on a regular basis is truly beyond us. This guy once managed to put away four goals against...

Mexican international goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa has been forthright about his chance to get the hell out of Mexico. His persistent attempts to entice European clubs with his unrestrained, open-armed salutations are easy to mock…but they seem to be working....

Real Madrid’s Ivan Helguera needed a hip replacement after Ronaldinho’s juke. Iker Casillas seems to give up before Ronaldinho even takes a shot. The only one that looks unfazed is compatriot Roberto Carlos, who playfully kicks the ball around...

See, all he really did was outrun a Getafe team that was probably getting trashed in Barrio Gotic the night before. Okay. This is an awesome goal. A quick left foot tap to free up space and it was...

Here’s the fastest goal in La Liga history, courtesy of Valladolid’s Joseba Llorente. And if were to do what analysts do when a guy hits three home runs on opening day, we’re going to calculate this game’s final combined...

There’s been much speculation over the last year as to whether FC Barcelona midfielder Ronaldinho was actually fit enough to be playing professional football. Photographs of the former World Player of the Year captured a thicker than usual waistline...

As far as we know, there’s no such thing as a Hall of Fame in Spanish soccer. But that doesn’t mean players can’t continue their legacy elsewhere. Iker Casillas’ recent form is on the fringe of becoming some legendary...

It wasn’t too long ago that FC Barcelona striker Giovanni Dos Santos pledged his allegiance to the land of siestas, tapas and Flamenco. Now he may have to rescind all that citizenship buffoonery because it looks like Barca are...

Manchester United has set a price for Cristiano Ronaldo and all of his hair gel extravaganza and man purse selling appeal. If Real Madrid are really interested in his services, then they’ll have to shell out $147 million, which,...

Young Mexican striker Giovani Dos Santos has seen limited play this season in Catalunya because, in our opinion, head coach Frank Rijkaard has gone bonkers. It’s truly uncertain why Dos Santos hasn’t been given more time since Thierry Henry,...

It wasn’t the merriest of holidays for Catalan striker Ronaldinho. After losing to Real Madrid over the weekend, in the biggest rivalry clash in the world, Barcelona fans decided to point their Catalan fingers straight into the Brazilian’s grill—and...

Real Madrid V Barcelona is the most desired sporting event in the world. Yes Yankee/Red Sox fans, this game is even bigger than you. Real Madrid are seven points clear going into the Christmas break and this Julio Baptista...