So Cristiano Ronaldo… what’s left to say? Sure he’s a brilliant player, but at what point do his brownie points for that wear out and leave us with a boludo who talks out of his ass more than he...

It seems that Carlos Tevez is pretty sad. Crowd: How sad is he? He’s so sad, that when Diego Maradona came to talk to him about playing for the Argentine national team, all the forwrd could talk about was...

Carlos Tevez is not what you’d call a handsome man, or even completely Homo Sapien. But he’s going to have to keep his neanderthal wang in his pants if he wants to continue living at home with his wife...

Since soccer is “The World’s Game,” as it’s been called so many times, why should one language be the dominating tongue that dictates the ebb and flow of it? Two stories out of The Sun highlight the struggle two...

Before the game on Man U/West Ham game on Wednesday, Cristano Ronaldo was awarded the FIFPro Player of the Year 2008 award in which he was awarded this shiny Golden Boot. He quickly showed his disrespect for the award...

It’s been a pretty rough couple of months for Cristano Ronaldo. After a summer of speculation where he sauntered off to Sardinia with his now ex-girlfriend Nereida Gallardo as Manchester United and Real Madrid vied for his services, it...

The Ballon d’Or is given out every year to the person who performed the best the season before. It’s all about performance, and nowhere on the award does it say “nicest” “most humble” or even “guy you wouldn’t mind...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Champions League: Juventus hadn’t won a game in a month and Real Madrid was coming off an unbeaten streak of eight matches. Well, that’s why they play the games, as the Italians used...

We may have a beat on why Cristiano Ronaldo has to occasionally visit ladies of the night. His fascination with little shorts (and, well, himself) has seemingly been a turn-off for women who like to show more leg than...

Don’t be fooled by the picture—this isn’t a still from Carlos And Nani’s Total Zombie Adventure. It’s actually from the celebratory aftermath of Manchester United’s Dimitar Berbatov knocking in his second goal of the game against Danish champs Aalborg....

Ah the days of sports gossip consisting of Cristiano Ronaldo and Nereida Gallardo. That nudie-boobie-touting vixen will always hold a special day in our hearts. Especially since we gushed over her the day C-Ron dropped her like a bad...

We were all up on C-Ron’s biz when he was recovering from ankle surgery in July and vacationing in sunny Southern Califas. The stories were flooding in considering he was heading out to clubs and shagging anything and everything...

Imagine being the British tow guy who had to pick up Wayne Rooney and his wife Colleen after their car died yesterday. Sure, it’s a stressful situation for anyone to be in, but you had two combustible factors at...

ROnaldo Carling CUpby Machochip Carling Cup action took the stage in England yesterday and guess who cast his name on the scoreboard? It’s not the greatest of goals, but everyone is waiting for him to break 40 again this year....

Oh EPL, you’re so silly. You have the league with the highest paid players in the world (thanks, Euro notes and Dubai investors!) and then some of the rowdiest fans (Italy has you beat there, England). So when you...

It’s no secret that Cristano Ronaldo’s love trysts involve hookers, in one way or another. But what would happen if CR7 was dating a hooker… for free? That seems to be the pickle he’s in with Fernanda, the English...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NFL: We’re not sure if Tom Brady could have saved the Patriots from the drubbing they took from the Dolphins yesterday. Well, in particular, the drubbing they took from Miami running back Ronnie...

As Cristiano Ronaldo well knows, ankles are important for a lot of things like scoring goals and running away from Lauren Conrad. So with his post-ankle surgery ready to get tested this weekend by Chelsea (in his first EPL...

For the first time in our lives, we chose to not watch a Real Madrid (hala Madrid motherfuckers!) game during the Champions League in order to catch Cristiano Ronaldo’s debut for Manchester United this season. We were actually expecting...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Champions League:What is going on with Manchester United nowadays? The EPL champs are currently in 14th place in the standings and most people said what they were missing was Cristiano Ronaldo, which makes...

As the financial world collapsed yesterday, we were reading furiously about what’s going to happen to the $1,285.21 in our 401(K). And the fact the insurer AIG was among the top names bandied about needing a lifevest from the...

Dimitar Berbatov’s departure to Manchester United from Tottenham last month sent shockwaves through the league. Not so much because of the trade itself, but the fact that it actually got done. Seriously, it took all of the offseason and...

Dimitar Berbatov—currently of the Tottenham Hotspur Berbatovs—has caused an uproar in North London. Yesterday, while traveling with his Bulgarian national teammates to Bosnia for a match, the increasingly in-demand striker decided to sign a fan’s jersey—a Red Devil’s kit—and...

David Beckham is the biggest soccer player in the world, so if there’s anyone that could be the focus of a musical that brings in Mamma Mia! type numbers, it’d be him. That’s why this week talks are underway...

Cristiano Ronaldo left Los Angeles, Ca with more than a tan if we’re to believe reports that a British model named Jasmine Lennard, reportedly American Idol crank Simon Cowell’s ex, stole his heart in Tinseltown. Lennard is a former...

We’re betting the survey over at Gaygolddiggers.uk.com ranks as high on the charts of fulfilled accomplishments for Cristiano Ronaldo as his Manchester United double last year. That’s because everyone once believed David Beckham was the gay world’s icon, but...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night EPL: Luiz Felipe Scolari starts his ambitious time frame for Chelsea’s take over of Man U’s crown right, as goals from Joe Cole, Deco, Nicolas Anelka and Frankie Lampard lead to a lambasting...

You see that pot-mark encrusted mug to the right? If it weren’t for that, Carlos Tevez believes he would be a superstar the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo and, er, David Beckham. Tevez, 24, said: “I don’t have the same...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Soccer: No Cristiano, no Dimitar, no worries? That’s not what the Man U faithful are saying as the Red Devils drew against Juventus yesterday at home. Something tells us they’re going to get...

Every telenovela has to end some time. That’s right, they don’t go on forever like “Days Of Our Lives.” They always end. Some end badly and some end triumphantly, leaving onlookers pumping their fist and screaming “orale!” at their...

In a statement he was sure to make after signing a fat ol’ contract with Chelsea, Big Phil Scolari (last seen smacking a guy, video below) declared that Manchester United will be kings of the EPL forever! Well not...

No one knows the fate of Cristiano Ronaldo’s career because we don’t have too many insiders from Real Madrid or Manchester United shelling out details about meetings, negotiations or anything else that has to do with the most important...

It wasn’t too long ago that the world’s greatest soccer player was cautioning England striker Wayne Rooney to chill out and get back on track. Of course, Rooney took that in stride and decided to spit on a paparazzi...

It’s not necessarily news that Cristiano Ronaldo added two giant orgy-tubs to his mansion this week, but it is news that people consider the revamping of his crib to mean that there’s finally signs Cristiano may stay in Manchester...

Soccer riots have a long history of being about stupid shit. Either someone talked smack about another dude’s girlfriend or a group (or six) of rows decide to start throwing fascist salutes all over the place. But occasionally, a...

We haven’t written about Cristiano Ronaldo in quite a while without mentioning some WAG-wannabee, but an interesting story came over our RSS feed reading “Ferguson: If Ronaldo leaves, I will too.” It was bound to happen considering going to...

Look, before you judge us and say “Gosh, like, they don’t even knooow who Lauren Conrad is?” let us take you to our planet. This is our planet. Now, shut up. Back to Cristiano Ronaldo. Apparently the guy doesn’t...

What in the world is Carlos Tevez doing? Does he hate Cristiano Ronaldo that much that he’s openly supporting Cristiano Ronaldo’s need for a change of scenery via Madrid? We wonder what kind of tift these two had because...

We’d be all smiles if we were a part of a trio that consisted of Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez. Seriously, Nike. Go ask Juan Carlos if he’s freakin’ happy he’s the King of Spain. Um, answer will most...

This past weekend, when Manchester United played a friendly against South African team Kaizer Chiefs (and not the band Kasier Chiefs, like we had originally thought), Wayne Rooney just freakin’ lost it. As usual. This time, however, the game’s...

When he’s not hobbling to night clubs and dodging Paris Hilton, Cristiano Ronaldo is trying to decide what he’s going to do in the future. Like in five months. But while he’s making up his mind, his current Manchester...

We knew the thread on this story would go somewhere infested by celebritards. If you haven’t heard, Cristiano Ronaldo is currently in Los Angeles on an undisclosed business trip and he’s been wandering through LA with buddies, on crutches...

It seems that Wimbledon champ Rafael Nadal and Cristiano Ronaldo have a bigger link than just hot girlfriends. Nadal is a huge Real Madrid fan, and after he won Wimbledon, he ran into Real president Ramon Calderon where the...

Cristiano Ronaldo went through with his ankle surgery much to the chagrin of Manchester United officials and here are some of the first pictures displaying him in all his injurd glory. He looks so different sans Nereida Gallardo, no?...

Fitness: it’s the most important factor a team concentrates on when deciding on whether to purchase a player or not. If the player is not fit, then he is rubbish. If he’s beyond fit, then he’s worth a possible...

It seems like forever ago that Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portuguese pals were bounced from Euro 08. Part of that might be the onslaught of photos we’ve gotten of CR7 and his girlfriend, the lovely Ms. Nereida Gallardo, vacationing...

Obviously, Cristiano Ronaldo is as flummoxed by the inflatable deer toy as we are. Yes, there are more and more pictures of him and Nereida floating around the internets, looking tanned and soft-pornish, but isn’t Cristiano straddling a floatie...

We kid, numbskulls. That angle is Splash News’ fault and we’re too lazy to change it. Also, at first glance we thought Cristiano’s ass was really white. But then we realized it was his board shorts. Nereida Gallardo was...

Apparently, Cristiano Ronaldo and Nereida Gallardo don’t believe in staycations. The star and his girlfriend are still on the beaches of Italy, and it seems like he’s been there as long as the Allies were during World War II....

Cristiano Ronaldo must have been bored playing bingo in his Austrian hotel room waiting for his next Euro 08 matchup. He’s decided to send the soccer world in tizzy by wearing a look that bludgeons home many messages to...