David Beckham is no longer the singular face for Chinese sex products. The Miami Heat’s Dwayne Wade, long overdue to cut off his ties with T-Mobile (because, unlike you, we’re amused less and less by those stupid commercials) has...

For us, celebrities answering phones during telethons got played out after Ken Burns yelled at someone during an ‘06 PBS pledge drive for his Baseball documentary. So when we heard the Miami Heat were having members of their basketball...

It was probably the best thing in the eyes of the Miami Heat organization to ship Shaquille O’Neil off to the Phoenix Suns last month. His overbearing contract, along with minimal play because he was a fat lug, were...

Our evening culminated with Cristiano Ronaldo highlight reels until we caught a disheartening headline flashing on our feeds: “Miami Heat score 54 points in loss.” It sounds like a Shaq-less and Wade-less Heat team has reverted to the type...

There were high hopes for the Miami Heat in 2007/2008, but the season spiraled almost immediately when the Heat went 2-8 in their first ten games. Then, they managed to lose 15 games in a row in a stretch...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA: The stats say a win, but we still still two wins in the last TWENTY-EIGHT games. At least the Miami Heat are now in double digits. Miami Heat 107, Sacramento Kings 86....

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Uefa Cup: Tottenham burst out to 2-0 lead against Slavia Prague until Radek Cerny pulls a Paul Robinson. Gasp, Alex. GASP. Look out for that aggregate. Tottenham 2, Slavia Prague 1. [Telegraph] NBA:...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA: Dwayne Wade gives a bittersweet speech to Miami fans and tells them their losing ways won’t last forever. It lasted one more night against the Nuggets. Miami Heat 113, Denver Nuggets 114...

Whas Happened In Sports This Weekend La Liga: How many adjectives can you think of that would describe Real Madrid’s drubbing of Valladolid? Real Madrid 7, Valladolid 0. [CNN] African Cup of Nations: Egypt is crowned the best in...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA: It looks like Dwayne Wade is chasing a runaway chicken. Miami drops it’s 21st game. S-k-i-i-i-d. Miami Heat 84, Philadelphia 76ers 101. [AFP] African Cup of Nations: Egypt indulge in some deja...

If you were in the market for a car, and an old Bentley with a broken odometer and even more broken parts came on to the market—would you buy it? Okay, what if it came at its original price?...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA: The Dallas Mavericks stuff the Orlando Magic and Hedo Turkoglu’s triple-double. Dallas 107, Orlando 98. [AFP] African Cup of Nations: Cameroon win in extra time, 3-2, against a tough Tunisia team. Samuel...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Premiership: Cristiano Ronaldo wants a raise. Bad. He scored twice against Portsmouth to take his goal tally to 27 and at this rate, he can do whatever he wants. Manchester United 2, Portsmouth...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night All the blogs, Newcastle fanatics and pot-heads were praising the return of coach Kevin Keegan to Newcastle. Shhhhh. Arsenal 3, Newcastle 0. [Telegraph UK] NBA: How will the Miami Heat end a 15...

Hey, at least they weren’t beer bottles, flares, or those £1 British coins. Those are heavy—and they hurt like hell when you chuck them from the stands. [YouTube] The New York Times has taken the time to evaluate—and consequentally...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Australian Open: How do you say “ah shucks” in Swiss-German? Roger Federer loses in straight sets 7-5, 6-3, 7-6 (7-5). [Xinhua] African Cup Of Nations: Luck is on your side when you’ve got...

Here’s the fastest goal in La Liga history, courtesy of Valladolid’s Joseba Llorente. And if were to do what analysts do when a guy hits three home runs on opening day, we’re going to calculate this game’s final combined...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA: When is Andrew Bynum going to receive his apology, Kobe? Los Angeles 122, Phoenix 115. [LATimes] NFL: It was a Monday night beat down that sent shock waves up to Wednesday morning....

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA: On the court, Lebron and Kobe are fascinating. But what would they look like on ice skates? Cleveland 94, Los Angeles 90. [LA Daily News] NFL: We visited Pittsburgh once in search...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NFL: Along with Michael Vick, the Atlanta Falcons have been sentenced to endure a rebuilding phase: meaning they will stink for awhile. New Orleans 34, Atlanta 14. Fifa World Club Cup: Whose pinned...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Mexican Soccer League Final: Atlante hold Pumas to a draw and bore the heck out of everyone, 0-0. [Reuters UK] NBA: It was the battle of the mediocre last night in Portland as...

Miami Heat coach Pat Riley has kicked guard Smush Parker (seen here during his Laker days) off the team for assaulting a parking valet over a $12 ticket. Man, parking attendants and athletes just don’t mix, do they? Police...

Looks like the “Diesel” has finally run out of gas in Miami. The Miami Heat center Shaquille O’neil has been playing as well as, well, anyone who’s going over the hill and through a divorce. His stats are down,...

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA: So is Boston going to start whining because they win too much? Boston Celtics start season 3-0 and take out Denver 119-93. [Yahoo] European Champions’ League: A Figo-less Inter Milan cruise to...