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Worst. Cookbook. Ever. If You Thought Testicles Made Bad Food, How About Semen Recipes?  ||  Feature: Athletes Who Don't Make Us Want To Purge This Thanksgiving  ||  Next Year's Pirelli Calendar Is Going For A More Eco-Friendly Theme  ||  Ryanair Releases Employee Hotties Calendar for 2009 To Support Charity, Our Lust For Stewardesses
TuesdayNovember252008

FIFA To Peru: Stay Home, Jerks

Since soccer is the life blood of almost every nation in the world (with the major exception of our own United States of America), and is especially popular in Latin nations, just being threatened with a ban from international...

FridayNovember212008

Brazilians Say Cristiano Ronaldo Is A "Malicious Bigmouth"; The World Says "Duh"

We have this notion that a soccer friendly involve just a couple of teams who want to work out some kinks in time for the real matches to begin. Ha! These are athletes we’re dealing with here, humans who...

WednesdayJuly022008

Goal Of The Day: Deco Launches Strike Against Iran.

Imagine all the people that will receive this headline on their RSS feeds. “Fuck man! Where the hell is Deco? And why are they attacking Iran?!” Since we’re now t-minus two years away from World Cup action, we thought...

TuesdayJuly012008

Cristiano Ronaldo Finally Flips At The Paparazzi After 30th Week On Vacation

It seems like forever ago that Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portuguese pals were bounced from Euro 08. Part of that might be the onslaught of photos we’ve gotten of CR7 and his girlfriend, the lovely Ms. Nereida Gallardo, vacationing...

MondayJune232008

Cristiano Ronaldo Likes To Roll Around On The Pitch

Cristiano Ronaldo’s life revolves around beautiful (naked) women, a lifetime defying amount of money and tons of attention. You’d think that some sort of caution would reign supreme in his life, but alas, that’s not the case. When Cristiano...

FridayJune202008

Goal Of The Day: Nani To Postiga Is Money.

This was the moment that should have sparked a Turkey-esque comeback from the Portuguese. Nani began creating more space on the left side and the Germans were drifting farther away from their lines. This is the moment Cristiano should...

FridayJune202008

'Member? Cristiano Ronaldo's Rat Tail Won't Be Seen At Euro 2008 Anymore.

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night: Euro 2008: After a very successful group stage campaign during the Euro 2008 tournament, Portugal seemed destined for an extended stay beyond the quarterfinals. Germany had other plans. Both teams squared up equally,...

ThursdayJune192008

Germany Cancels Potrugal's Subscription To Euro 2008

First Half: Say it with us now: Schwein-Steiger. Germany’s Bastian Schweinsteiger opened up the scoring with a 22nd minute strike that graced the right side of goal and slithered in passed a diving goalkeeper. Placed on their heels, Portugal...

ThursdayJune122008

Goal Of The Day: Deco Initiates Portguese Avalanche.

The movement of the ball, precision and determination turned us on to this video. Portugal’s Deco is, without a doubt, a top ten midfielder in the world and this display exemplifies his talent for recognizing the ball in difficult...

MondayJune092008

Goal Of The Day: Pepe's One Touch Is Hawt.

The one touch pass is probably the most enthralling of all the passes in soccer. For one, it’s prettier than the illustrious English long pass. Sure Beckham’s pecision is amazing, but that style doesn’t inspire us. There’s the Brazilian...

MondayMarch242008

New Portuguese National Soccer Uniforms Unveiled, Remind Us We're Fat

Portuguese stand outs Bruno Alves and Nani are seen here wearing Portugal’s new soccer kits. The uniforms will make their debut during Euro 2008. If we remember correctly, Portugal is a very speedy team. These new, sleek looking jerseys...

FridaySeptember142007

Portuguese National Soccer Coach Luis Scolari Is Master Of Brazilian Palm Explosion

It isn’t the brightest of ideas when coaches decide their old decrepit bodies can handle a fist fight with a youngster. Usually coaches take the Dazed and Confused approach to fighting: throw a punch and hope others will come...

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